When he was 13 years old, David Helfenbein fell head-over-heels in love - political love, that is - with Hillary Clinton. It all began on a fateful day eight years ago when Clinton came to speak at the now-College senior's middle school in Chappaqua, New York.

The college gossip Web site Juicycampus.com is still under attack - but from a new direction. Though most outcry about the site over the past months has focused on its obscene content posted by users, New Jersey authorities are investigating whether the site itself has engaged in wrongdoing.

Last time I checked, the United States didn't have an official language. English may predominate in the Land of the Free, but Spanish, or any other language for that matter, can rightly claim to be just as American. Yet if you stop by Geno's Steaks in South Philly, you might think otherwise.

A male student allegedly followed a College sophomore off the elevator in Rodin College House and attempted to break into her room after she had entered it yesterday afternoon. After a fight with police, he was arrested. The student, whose name police did not release last night, was charged with criminal trespassing, attempted burglary and assault on police, according to Det.

For seven innings, Penn's makeshift pitching operation bent but didn't break, allowing just three runs despite 13 baserunners. But in a madcap eighth inning, the Quakers rickety bullpen finally collapsed. Ironically, Lafayette's three-run rally started with a strikeout.

It was all about the purple fishnets. College sophomore Cameron Clark spent the past few weeks preparing for his debut as Britney Spears last night, and he couldn't have done it without the "proper purple fishnets." In towering black lace-up boots and a pink miniskirt, Clark was just one of the many Penn performers who participated in the second-annual gender-bending drag show last night.

For the Penn men's tennis team, today's match against St. John's marks the last non-conference tune-up before the Princeton match on Saturday. But after losing six of their past seven matches, the Quakers know better than to look past their next opponent. "St.

Congratulations to Drexel for taking up arms. With crime on everyone's minds, it comes as no surprise that our neighbors to the northeast have new plans to ensure the continued safety of students. Drexel recently announced its intent to develop a campus police department over the course of the next year.

Want to poke a little fun at all the action surrounding the presidential elections? The Social Planning and Events Committee has secured approximately 800 tickets to the upcoming filming of Comedy Central's The Colbert Report on Penn's campus. Tickets to the show sold out on Comedy Central's Web site within 10 minutes of the announcement that the program would air in Philadelphia.

When none of the gears are turning, it's time to evaluate to the assembly of the whole machine. And after Penn softball's two disheartening losses against Lehigh yesterday, that's all head coach Leslie King could do. "I take full responsibility as a coach," King said.

Rodin College House is leading the way with a residential program unlike any before. The College House is collaborating with the Fox Leadership Program to create the Leadership Residential Program, which will begin in fall 2008 and will occupy an entire floor in Rodin.

Women make up 40 percent of Americans with assets more than $5 million - and yesterday Caren Karpf gave a group of Penn women advice on how to join those ranks. Karpf, a Wharton alumna, CPA and financial planner, was the speaker for last night's Women in Leadership Series lecture, "Managing Your Finances: A Workshop for Penn Women.

There was a minor crisis on Friday. It was 12:05 p.m., and my spinning instructor was nowhere to be found. Class was supposed to start at noon, and the girls waiting in line at Pottruck were wasting precious time. In those five minutes, we could have burned about 60 calories.

Last night, representatives from each fraternity and sorority on campus packed into Bodek Lounge to honor accomplishments within the Greek community last year at the annual Greek Awards Ceremony. The purpose of the ceremony is to "recognize people who have made contributions above and beyond expectations," said director of the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Affairs Scott Reikofski.

Burglary March 17 - Three employees reported that a laptop was removed from the Richards Building, located at 3700 Hamilton Walk, at about 8:40 a.m.

Twenty-seven states have constitutions with amendments that ban same-sex marriage. Now, Pennsylvania is considering whether to join them. Last week the state Senate Judiciary Committee voted to advance a bill that would amend the state's constitution to make both same-sex marriages and the "functional equivalent" of marriage - such as civil unions - illegal in Pennsylvania.

Alicia Puglionesi is a College junior from Havertown, Pa. Her e-mail address is puglionesi@dailypennsylvanian.com.