*This article appeared in the 2008 Joke Issue.
Sod is not the only green substance growing on King's Court English College House's recently-installed green roof.
A King's Court resident was arrested yesterday after maintenance staff discovered he was growing marijuana on the college house's roof, which was completed this January.
The student, whose name and age have not been released because the Division of Public Safety and the Philadelphia Police cannot agree on the name and age, admitted to cultivating the marijuana immediately after his arrest, DPS officials said.
Maintenance staff member Phil Fuego discovered the growth during routine maintenance Tuesday morning.
"Seeing those leaves really brought me back," said Fuego, who had abnormally bloodshot eyes. "I felt really bad to report it, but I couldn't have anyone thinking it was mine."
English House resident and College freshman TJ Johnson was impressed by the arrested student's resourcefulness.
"What better way is there to celebrate Fling?" he asked, adding, "I didn't grow any pot up there, but if I did, I wouldn't have gotten caught."
Facilities and Real Estate Services is surprised the green roof was abused this way but does not foresee the growth of illegal substances as being a recurring problem, said FRES spokesman Andrew Zitcer.
But actor and Asian American studies professor Kalpen Modi, more commonly known as Kal Penn, disagreed.
"A green roof on a College House provides ample opportunities for students wanting to have a good time," he said. "Penn students are clever. Why wouldn't they want to take advantage of all the resources they have in front of them?"
Students working at the English House rooftop cafe said they had been noticing a dramatic increase in sales of their baked goods over the past month but until now had not understood why.
The Biopond has also seen a dramatic decrease in visitors over the same time period, said Modi, a frequent visitor himself.
KCECH house dean Krimo Bokreta said that suspicious growths in the KCECH courtyard garden are currently under investigation.
Yet Johnson, who is also chairman of the KCECH garden club, expressed gratitude toward the rooftop farmer.
Marijuana roots increase the fertility of the surrounding soil, he explained.
Plants that are situated adjacent to marijuana roots are 90 percent more likely to survive, said Earth and Environmental Science professor Robert Giegengack.
Still, Bokreta said he does not condone marijuana use, despite how much its cultivation may improve his begonias.
Zitcer added that FRES in no way regrets the roof's installation. In fact, he added that he is looking forward to the green roof on the new Hill Square College House.
"Students will light up, regardless of whether we give them a place to grow their crops," he said. "We may as well make our buildings LEED-certified."
