*This article appeared in the 2008 Joke Issue.
For the first time in Penn's history, 32 members of the Undergraduate Assembly resigned last night after College senior and newly-self-appointed UA president Jason Karsh staged a coup and gave himself power over all of the body's decisions.
"Basically, Karsh refused to even consider the idea of giving up his power to next year's executive board - a decision that I, a fellow president whose power is so frequently usurpated by Congress, sympathize with," said U.S. president George W. Bush, who made a special appearance at the meeting. "I couldn't do that with Congress, but if I could have, that's how I would have done it."
"I'm just fighting for tangible change in the way the UA runs things," said Karsh, who will postpone his graduation - in the tradition of his predecessor, super senior Brett Thalmann - to run the entire UA on his own.
The body voted down an amendment to an amendment to the UA bylaws that would have allowed a chairman who has served a one-year term to be re-elected to a second term as chairman. Members then resigned following bylaws procedure, as neither the current board nor members agreed to yield, and the meeting was adjourned.
"At least they didn't beat around the bush," said Bush.
