*This article appeared in the 2008 Joke Issue.
Penn President Amy Gutmann announced yesterday that she will pose for the inaugural issue of the Penn version of Diamond magazine, the controversial Harvard-based erotica publication.
The magazine, which is expected to hit campus next fall, will showcase Penn males and females posing semi-nude.
But that isn't enough for the President.
Gutmann - who offered to pose as the centerfold - said that her work in the magazine would make the Penn administration more transparent to the student body.
"Students need to see that we don't have anything to hide," revealed Gutmann.
Her decision to pose makes a statement beyond that of open communication. Gutmann, who will turn 59 this year, also wants to send a message against ageism.
"Age is just a number, and people my age should be allowed to express themselves openly."
The magazine was initially started to show that Ivy League students aren't merely bookworms but have grace and beauty, as well.
"Gutmann's maturity will definitely change the dynamic of the magazine. I think there's definitely a niche at Penn for what she has to offer," said editor and founder of Diamond magazine Matt Di Pasquale, a Harvard senior.
The announcement has only added fuel to the heated controversy surrounding the magazine.
Not everyone supports Gutmann's artistic inclinations. Alumni say this move will only push Penn's admissions rate higher and higher, ultimately leading to what is likely to be a steep fall in the U.S. and World News Report rankings.
Yet Gutmann said her efforts will help rather than hurt the school.
"This kind of exposure is exactly what Penn needs," she giggled.
Other students echoed Gutmann's excitement.
"This will be an astronomical leap for women everywhere because they'll see that they can be the head of an Ivy League school without sacrificing any of their sexuality," said Jeana Jacob, director of the Penn Women's Center.
And College senior and resident feminist Mara Gordon said this is "a victory for women everywhere," celebrating by burning several bras beneath the Dueling Tampons.
For those who don't have a chance to pick up a copy of the magazine, Gutmann said she will be selling autographed copies of exclusive photos not featured in the magazine to raise money for the capital campaign.
