Chairmanship of the United Minorities Council is a tough gig - so tough, in fact, that this year leaders say there were no qualified candidates to fill the role. The UMC - an umbrella organization for dozens of minority groups at Penn - held elections Wednesday night, and although two candidates were in the running, no chairman was elected.

If you're waiting in line at Koch's Take Out Shop, somebody will probably offer you a free pickle.

The security guard said I had to move, so I moved. It was Dec. 4, 2004, my second Big 5 Classic, and after Penn beat La Salle in the opener, my ticket said I still had one more game to watch. CSC Event Staff said otherwise; I had to make room for the Villanova student section to watch the Wildcats play Temple.

Last night, the junior class president pledged to keep students informed about the fate of Hey Day as student leaders met for the fourth annual State of the School event. Over 100 members of the six branches of student government gathered in College Hall for humorous, but informative, presentations from the heads of each branch.

The Big 5 landscape is changing, but the rivalry between Penn and Villanova is still alive and well.

Too many Penn students don't offer a hand to a person who trips or falls - unless the person falling is very attractive.

Trespassing and Conduct Nov. 24 - Carlton Smith, 28 and unaffiliated with the University, was arrested at about 12:05 a.m. when he allegedly attempted to enter an enclosed unit at the 4040 Baltimore St. Gunther Hall Apartments. Nov. 24 - Andre Soriven, 32 and unaffiliated with the University, was arrested on charges of disorderly conduct when a student complained that Soriven was disturbing residents of Sansom Place East.

The Quakers' Big 5 opener against Villanova was your typical City Series matchup: loud, physical and close to the very end. And once again, the Wildcats came out on top with a 99-89 win at a packed Palestra. A huge factor in 'Nova's win was their flawless free-throw shooting -- a torrid 27-of-29, with the only two misses in the irrelevant final minute.

22Americans who died in 2003 from being crushed by human stampedes.Source: Trans. Safety Board

Penn basketballer Stephen Danley shares an insider's perspective of the Quaker basketball team.

As much as we try to deny it, the 122nd Board could only be described as "a disaster!" (After all, it is an even-numbered board). Truly, we have been Blatsteined - or "jammed up the ass by three officials," if you will. As such, a certain former DPOSTM writer seems to have notified our regional supervisor that it's time we hand over the reins to the 1-2-3.

For the second year in a row, the Quakers are hoping to have short memories following a blowout loss to Delaware. Penn (2-2) will once again be trying to bounce back when it concludes its three-game homestand and continues its Big 5 schedule against Villanova (3-4) on Sunday.

The two main graduate student groups on campus recently announced a plan to radically restructure their organizations - and incensed many of their own constituents in the process.

It's only two weeks into the season, but the men's and women's squash teams already face the first of the perennially elite squash teams. Both the No. 6 men's and No. 4 women's teams head to New Haven, Conn. tomorrow to meet the Elis, whose men's and women's teams are ranked fourth and second, respectively.

Mixing dark humor with what organizers called a "delightfully strange" plot, Richard Burgin entertained an audience of about 30 with a reading from his latest work Wednesday evening. Burgin, a composer, professor at Saint Louis University and award-winning fiction writer, came to the Kelly Writers House to give the first-ever reading of the title work in his new collection of short stories, The Conference on Beautiful Moments.

Objectivity To the Editor: I am writing out of concern for the objectivity that you display your news. Your recent article on a British author ("Author says Britain has become a jihadist hotbed," DP, 11/15/06) had a front-page teaser that read, "A cultural assault.

Penn researchers say the future of AIDS treatment - and perhaps the treatment of other diseases - could lie in giving sick patients doses of a genetically modified HIV virus. HIV - the virus that causes AIDS - attacks T-cells, white blood cells that are critical to the immune system.