There's gold in them there art museums - but please don't tell the University trustees. As endowments shrivel and budgets tighten, Penn is no doubt looking for ways to make ends meet. But, let's hope they're not eyeing our veritable treasure trove of art, rare books and artifacts as a solution.

The gloves came off between Penn and Temple University last night in a college stand-up comedy competition. A few minutes after 8 p.m., RooftopComedy - a company that records, produces and distributes live comedy performances - presented comedian David Scott to host their second annual college tour at Helium Comedy Club.

Janice Dow is a College sophomore from Los Angeles. Her e-mail address is dow@dailypennsylvanian.com.

During spring break, a dozen graduate students in the School of Design went to China to preserve history. Currently in its second year, professor Randall Mason's HSPV 621 - Seminar in International Conservation - is a semester-long course in Penn's graduate program in historic preservation.

With all the insanity going on in the world right now, it's pretty easy to blame the president. Not much has been going right for him since the inauguration. He hasn't yet fulfilled many of his campaign promises (Where's the dog, Mr. President? You promised!), and it appears that the post-coital glow with our commander in chief is wearing off.

When softball meets Lehigh tomorrow in a doubleheader at Warren Field, the Mountain Hawks will be the third set of predatory birds that the Quakers have met in seven days. Each time, Penn has come out looking more like the prey. After two humbling losses in the Quakers' home opener against the Saint Joseph's Hawks, 4-1 and 10-0, the young Penn team dropped two razor thin losses to the Monmouth Hawks, both by the score of 1-0.

G. Edward DeSeve, senior lecturer at Penn's Fels School of Government, will manage the distribution of the $787 billion in federal stimulus funds in a new high-level advisory role. The White House announced his appointment yesterday as senior advisor to the Office of Management and Budget for Recovery Act Implementation, special advisor to President Barack Obama and assistant to Vice President Joe Biden.

Architecture job prospects seem to be stuck in the rubble of the current economy. Though the architecture market has seen "phenomenal growth" in the past 10 years, the economy is "a depressing concern," especially for those finishing graduate school this year, said associate director of Career Services Rachel Burk.

Quoting Beyonce, Nursing and Wharton sophomore and Undergraduate Assembly volunteer member G.J. Melendez-Torres implored the University to "finally put a ring on its commitment to gender and ethnic minorities." His request was met with a standing ovation, as student leaders packed Sunday's UA meeting to discuss a series of proposals targeting the status and support of minorities on campus.

Student government on campus began making progress toward increased minority representation 13 years ago when the United Minorities Council lobbied for a seat on the University Council advisory body. Three years of heated debate later, the UMC was granted its wish in the form of a permanent seat on the University Council.

In order to help out international professional students affected by the economic crisis, the Trustees of the University recently passed a resolution promising to help these students procure loans from a U.S. lender to continue their educations at Penn. This offering is a prudent one.

Scrolling through the Penn Registrar is a depressing task for this graduating senior. Knowing I won't be here next semester to take advantage of "Cinema of the Balkans" or Turkish I makes course examination a slowly sapping exercise, but I can't help torturing myself.

Beer may be becoming the new cheesesteak in Philadelphia. Left and right, gastropubs and bars devoted to craft beers are found throughout every neighborhood of the city. It's just as easy to find a microbrew as an "American without" anywhere you go downtown.

Glen Miller will be returning next season as head coach of the Penn basketball team, the team's co-chair John Rockwell confirmed last night. A member of the board of athletic overseers, Rockwell also endows the head coaching position. Other sources close to the program have indicated that the beleaguered coach met one-on-one with Athletic Director Steve Bilsky last week to evaluate this past season, Miller's status and the current state of the program.

This spring, health is in the AIR. The fraternity Alpha Iota Gamma, or AIR - the letter Gamma is shaped like an R - was founded this spring as the only health care-oriented fraternity at Penn. AIR aims to provide a values-based social experience in addition to networking and academic support for students of both genders looking to pursue careers in health care.

To kick off Penn's Education Week, Alan Kors described the current generational student body as both "victims of generational swindle of epic proportions" and the "best generation that has ever been on a college campus." Kors delivered the keynote address, entitled "The Generational Swindle: Students and Liberty," last night in Huntsman Hall.