The Undergraduate Assembly took the meaning of a nine-to-five job seriously last night. From 9 p.m. Wednesday night to 5 a.m. Thursday morning, the group held its executive board elections - but ultimately selected only two of the five positions. College sophomore Alec Webley was elected UA chairman, while College junior Lucia Liu was selected for executive vice chairwoman.

To gain entry into the Final Toast event on College Green on Hey Day, seniors signed a pledge to not throw items at the parading Class of 2010 - and yet a number chose to welcome the juniors not by raising a toast, but by pelting one of the free beers provided at the event.

It was just supposed to be a friendly game of football on Thanksgiving with family and friends. Not an event in which you would expect to seriously injure yourself. But to Wharton senior Daniel Doddo, tri-captain of the Penn Men's Lacrosse Club, there is no such thing as a friendly game.

It's time for students to tell professors how they really feel about them - and now they can do it online. The Provost's Office has shifted the entire Penn course evaluation system online, and all students will have to either complete or opt out of the evaluations by May 15 in order to receive their final grades.

If you ask Tim Hickey about his time coaching girls' track at William Penn High School in the 1970s, you're bound to reel from his musings. "Girls were unofficial at that time, so I was unofficial," he said with a chuckle. It's not without a reason that Hickey began his narrative of his career with girls' high school track tongue-in-cheek.

I've always been told you can't fix stupid. Philadelphia, though, is trying to ban it. Last week, the City Council passed a bill that would allow police to ticket motorists, bicyclists, skateboarders, rollerbladers and scooter riders who are caught talking or texting on handheld cell phones.

Good weather isn't the only thing the Penn men's track and field team hopes will return this weekend. With some injuries plaguing the team, the Quakers hope to return to top form in time for the commencement of the Penn Relays. If the Red and Blue can do so, coach Charlie Powell is sure they will find success starting tomorrow.

Penn's Panhellenic community may embrace a new sorority in the near future. Last night, the presidents of each of Penn's eight chapters met with Panhellenic Council president, former Daily Pennsylvanian editor and College junior Alissa Eisenberg to discuss potential for an extension - the process used to add another sorority chapter.

Fifty-three Penn students took vows of silence yesterday in honor of the Day of Silence, a national day that aims to promote awareness of anti-Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender harassment in schools. The day, according to College junior and Lambda Alliance chairman Dennie Zastrow, served as a reminder that "the LGBT community is still marginalized, and there are a lot of rights that everybody else has that LGBT people don't.

For former Penn placekicker Kendall Hochman, revenge is a dish best served cold. Really, really cold. The 32-year old Hochman is over 15 years removed from his blocked field goal attempt that would've beaten high school rival Phillipsburg, but he is still looking for closure.

According to University Archives, in 1916 Hey Day was established as a "moving up" celebration to mark the advancement of each class. As Penn's Class of 2010 steps into senior status tomorrow during Hey Day, their Class of 2009 counterparts will be moving up as well with The Final Toast.

Updated Apr. 23, 4:30 a.m. When outgoing Undergraduate Assembly chairman and College and Wharton senior Wilson Tong addressed the group assembled for the UA's internal elections last night, he called UA chairman a job that "seemingly never ends." It was fitting, then, that voting lasted well into the night as the 2009-2010 UA members deliberated between College junior and former executive vice chairman Zac Byer and College sophomore and Sustainability and Facilities Committee chairman Alec Webley.

According to University Archives, in 1916 Hey Day was established as a "moving up" celebration to mark the advancement of each class. As Penn's Class of 2010 steps into senior status tomorrow during Hey Day, their Class of 2009 counterparts will be moving up as well with The Final Toast.

Amira Fawcett is an Engineering senior from Houston. Her e-mail address is fawcett@dailypennsylvanian.com.

In the last 60 years, beloved Philadelphia comedian Bill Cosby has been a mainstay of the Penn Relay Carnival. He started off modestly as a competitor way back in the late 1940s and has competed on just about every surface at Franklin Field. While in junior high he participated in the 4x75 yard relay on the infield, and when he moved on to Central High School he ran in the 4x110 relay.

Strolling down Chestnut Street, College freshman Joanna Karaman is bombarded with a collage of colors emanating from the Hub building. After coming from class in College Hall, a more traditional 19th-century structure, Karaman said passing the Hub is like being "warped into a different era.

The Penn relays are four days of track and field mayhem, and the main draws are undoubtedly the sprinting events at the high school, college and professional levels. But on Thursday and Friday especially, the casual Relays spectator can catch a host of lesser-known events, especially three field competitions.