M. BASKETBALL NOTEBOOK: Dunphy changes his look to change luck

This article appeared in the joke issue. He's been called the future of Penn basketball. He's been called "Heir" Jordan. But, if Villanova coach Steve Lappas has his way, Penn freshman Michael Jordan may soon be called a Wildcat. The 1996-97 Ivy League Rookie of the Year has drawn more than just the attention of opposing Ancient Eight coaches. He has caught the eyes of Villanova coach Steve Lappas, who approached Jordan about the possibility about moving up the Main Line. Lappas is looking for a new point guard to replace graduating senior Alvin Williams, a projected first-round pick in the upcoming NBA draft. "Jordan is one of the most explosive players this city has seen in years," Lappas said. "I would love to get him in a Villanova uniform." Jordan had a two-hour meeting with Penn coach Fran Dunphy yesterday to discuss the situation. Upon leaving the meeting, Jordan announced that he had made a decision. "I will not be leaving the University of Pennsylvania for another three years," he said. In staying at Penn, Jordan is turning down a full scholarship at 'Nova, a chance to play in the Big East Conference and a phone card. "Come on, give me a little credit," Jordan said. "Lappas sucks!" · Like many athletes and coaches, Fran Dunphy isn't one to take superstitions lightly. So after his Quakers' streak of four straight Ivy League championships was snapped this season, Dunphy had to do something drastic. "Our team has lost three straight games to Princeton," Dunphy said. "I have to do something to help the team." So, yesterday, Dunphy shaved his famous moustache. "When something is not going right, you have to change something. And that something is my facial hair." Penn assistant coach Gil Jackson had his own personal reason to support Dunphy's decision. "Hopefully, the leftover lunch in his 'stache will no longer be a distraction during timeouts," Jackson said. · Quakers forward Frank Brown sat out most of the 1996-97 after the sophomore had surgery on his left knee after an extra bone was detected. The extra bone was causing Brown severe discomfort and he spent much of the summer and fall on crutches before the surgery. After Penn's season-closing loss to Princeton, Brown said his rehabilitation was going better than expected. "I see no reason why I can't be at 100 percent by next season," he said. "The pain is gone. I'm just working on building my strength back." That was three weeks ago. Now it appears as if Brown's condition has regressed. A statement from the team trainer stated that Brown had "grown an extra elbow on his right arm, which has made it quite difficult to shoot." Brown could not be reached for comment. · Freshman Geoff Owens, who blossomed into one of the conference's top shot blockers during the second half of the season, has announced that he will be leaving Penn for one year. He will be touring Europe with Los Del Rio, the musical group famous for popularizing "Macarena" in the States. As a follow-up to their break-through hit, Los Del Rio has arranged a version of "The Geoff Owens Dance," a move which debuted on UTV13's "Sunday Night with Mike Melcher." Owens stresses that he will back for the 1998-99 season. He will also petition the Ivy League for a fifth year of eligibility.