GUEST COLUMNIST: Obi-Wan Kenobi wasn't a good guy

Shahzad Abbas, Guest Columnist Shahzad Abbas, Guest Columnist I was watching the Star Wars Trilogy on the USA network the other day -- no, not all of it, but definitely the good parts. Like when the Ewoks beat up on the Storm Troopers, with their little rocks and pebbles -- and logs, don't forget the logs -- smashing AT-AT walkers like they were paper, but they weren't, they were like a weird polymer metal something or another. And when finally the Ewoks kicked the Storm Trooper's collective ass just in time for Han and Leia to disable the Death Star's shield, I cheered. That's because we're no longer kids, none of us, not really. Not like we think we are. Not like we want to be. Complications arise, where before there were none. Obi-Wan, he's a good guy, right? But now I wonder -- why did he lie, why did he deceive? And that's the least of his sins. The man's a kidnapper, if you think about it, taking Leia and Luke from their father like that. And what's with the alias? Ben? Ben Kenobi? Who's he trying to fool? He's got to do better than that. Trust me, I understand Ben's motivation for lying to Luke. But I seriously question the Jedi master's ethics. When he finally comes clean to Luke, at the end of Return of the Jedi, Ben says: there are many truths, not just one. Looks like Mr. Kenobi's been reading up on postmodern theory (I didn't know Barthes was widely read.) But you know what? So have I. And here's my interpretation: Ben's not a good guy. And he's not a bad guy. He's an old man, who made a mistake, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Now he's trying to cut his losses by having Luke correct his faux pas. For those of you not well versed: Back in the day, Obi-Wan thought he was the mack, and he said, Yoda's got nothing on me -- so he decided to create his own little rival Jedi dojo. But, whoops, big mistake. Obi-Wan turned out to be no Mr. Miyagi: His teaching was so bad, so incomplete, so opposite of what any teaching should ever be, his student became the biggest bad ass Jedi in the galaxy -- for the wrong side. The jedi's name? Yeah, you guessed it. Darth Vader. When Luke is finally told the "truth" in ROTJ, he says: But I don't want to kill my father, I see good in him. Obi-Wan doesn't believe it. Obi- Wan sees him as "more machine than man, twisted and evil." Even for a postmodernist, this sure is a didactic statement. Tainted by guilt, his judgment is impaired. Luke, for all his naivete, sure is wise, sure is right: he sees gray, not white, not black. But Obi-Wan, he wants to cut his losses and absolve his guilt and having Luke kill Darth is the only way he knows how. Obi-Wan is manipulative and sly and deceitful and he uses a really bad fake name. And he's supposed to be the goodest of the good, high up in the Light Side hierarchy, just below Yoda, but way above everybody else?He sounds like a lawyer or politician with his slick turns of phrase: "Well, Luke, you'll find that many of our truths depend upon our point of view?" Point of View? Just say what you mean man, tell what you did. When I was a kid, I didn't ask, didn't probe, and because I just accepted, everything was okay. I really believed Obi-Wan was a good guy because I didn't know what else he could be. But he's not. He's just an old man trying to fix his past, who made mistakes then and is making mistakes now. As you get older, I think you see some things clearer, sharper -- but, you know what? All this clarity just shows you how muddled the world really is.