The Daily Pennsylvanian’s annual gag issue has a long history, of which another chapter has been written today.

Once the UA is voted down, the undergraduates could send about creating a new student government. At a convention open to all undergraduates, students could present ideas and possible structures for the new government.

Amy, I think it’s time for you to take me off speed dial.

The Delta Pi fraternity chapter house at 4015 Walnut St. sunk into the ground 12 feet below the street last night.

With fifth-year senior quarterback Billy Ragone graduating following this past season, Penn football coach Al Bagnoli has some big shoes to fill.

Don Memo Mexican Restaurant will be coming to campus next month, the University announced Sunday.

Due to security concerns, David Guetta will be performing the Spring Fling concert in Irvine Auditorium. Students who purchased floor tickets after winning them in last week’s lottery will be refunded, and a new lottery will open Tuesday to distribute tickets for seats in Irvine.

With the sudden departure of M. Grace Calhoun, Penn quickly put together a new advisory committee to find the new replacement for Steve Bilsky.

If you want to get something done, sometimes you just have to do it yourself.

Two freshmen in the third floor Green Suite of Hill College house are bringing a whole new meaning to the term “hallcest.”

Provost Vincent Price announced the news in Penn News Today.

After a three-hour trial, the Nominations and Elections Committee is deliberating whether Undergraduate Assembly presidential candidate Gabe Delaney and UA vice presidential candidate Julie Bittar violated election rules — which could result in their disqualification.

Call it what it was — an utter devastation.

Welcome to Mahoney era of Penn Athletics.After the stunning resignation of M. Grace Calhoun, Provost Vincent Price announced on Sunday that Mike Mahoney, the Director of Penn’s Athletic communications, would be the next Director of Recreation and Intercollegiate Athletics, effective July 1.

Penn is moving forward with plans to expand Penn’s South Bank Campus and transform it into a pedestrian boardwalk and beach for students.

In a stunning turn of events less than a week after her formal introduction as Penn’s next Athletic Director, M. Grace Calhoun submitted her letter of resignation to President Amy Gutmann and Provost Vincent Price late Sunday evening.

A secret SPEC committee was tasked last year with collecting and collating information about students’ online lives and habits from numerous sources.