Yesterday the main attraction at the Kelly Writers House was the cherry pie - and the pedophilia. From noon until well into the night, relentless staff members, professors, students and members of the community alike read aloud Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita in its entirety to a captive audience in the Arts Cafe.

Last summer, College sophomores Elena Stein and Bryant Williams visited Guatemala, armed with entrepreneurial drive and creativity, to learn how they could help the Hogar San Francisco Xavier orphanage become self-sustaining. The trip was part of a pilot project for Ties to the World, a nonprofit organization that helps Latin American orphanages become financially independent through the creation of social-entrepreneurial businesses.

Next time your parents ask you why they are paying so much money for you to sleep through your morning classes, tell them you woke up for an educational program at 8 a.m. on a Saturday. Tomorrow, Global Health Programs is sponsoring Global Health Career Day 2008 at the Biomedical Research Building of the School of Medicine.

Sometimes, good can come from tragedy - and the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania is trying to make that happen more often. In the last few years, HUP has made a concerted effort to raise its rate of organ donation. For the past two years, HUP's transplant program has received the Medal of Honor from the Department of Health and Human Services for having 75 percent of eligible donors do so.

If I'm not with them, I'm against them. A sidebar in the QPenn supplement on Monday labeled me a heterosexist for thinking that "LGBT people are too outspoken about LGBT rights." Ironically, this same sidebar implored readers to think of gay people as interesting people who exist beyond their sexuality.

Without a clear-cut favorite, Penn gymnastics' chance of winning is as good as anyone's. After finishing third in the Ivy League, the Quakers have a chance to win the conference. Tomorrow, they will compete in the Eastern College Athletic Conference Championships at William and Mary.

The individual arrested in connection with Tuesday's attempted burglary in Rodin College House has been charged with aggravated assault, attempted burglary, terroristic threats with intent to terrorize another and other related offenses. The Daily Pennsylvanian is not printing the suspect's name because it has received different names from the Philadelphia and Penn Police.

Despite the heightened political excitement over the upcoming Pennsylvania primary, Penn's own student government candidates aren't getting as much of the spotlight. Students running for positions on the 2008-2009 student government mingled in Houston Hall yesterday evening, surrounded by free pizza, pretzels, popcorn and Vitamin Water, at the annual "Get Out the Vote" election kickoff.

Against Cornell on Saturday, the Penn men's lacrosse team is out to settle a score - an odd thing for a team that gave the Big Red their only Ivy League loss in the last three years. In 2006, Penn stunned No. 2 Cornell 8-6 at Franklin Field. It was the Big Red's only conference defeat since 2004, when they also lost to the Quakers.

Philadelphia is going through a growth spurt, and it's taking University City with it. As it stands now, the city is one of the smallest among its peers in terms of building height, especially when compared to cities such as New York and Chicago, where skyscrapers abound.

The last time the Penn baseball team shared a field with Brown, the Bears dumped 20 runs on the visiting Quakers to complete a two-game sweep in the Ivy League Championship Series last May. This time around, the defending champs come to West Philly to renew the rivalry.

As prescription stimulant use rises on college campuses, some neuroscientists think academia is entering an age of widespread drug-induced brain enhancement. "An era of doping is probably looming in the culture, and academia is going to be a part of that," said Anjan Chatterjee, an associate professor of neurology at Penn.

English is the common link To the Editor: As a first generation American and son of Indian immigrants, I wholeheartedly disagree with David Kanter's opinion ("This is America-tolerate some diversity", March 26, 2008). Although David may think he is defending the cause of immigrants, I believe he is sorely mistaken.

With five games in 15 days, the women's lacrosse team needed a break. S=ix match-free days following its Cornell match on Sunday allowed the Quakers to catch their breath. But now that time is up, as No. 8 Penn (6-1, 2-0 Ivy) will take on a middling Columbia team (3-4, 0-2) tomorrow at Franklin Field.

Penn's Information Systems and Computing staff is recommending a "wait-and-see" approach to updating to Vista's first service pack. ISC advocated a similar approach when the Windows program itself was first released last year. The service pack - which was released about a week ago - is mostly a compatibility, reliability and performance upgrade.

Softball freshman Taylor Tieman knew that college was a place to try new things. But she didn't think that would apply on the field, too. A pitcher in high school, Tieman has seen most of her action at third base for the Quakers. This weekend, the team will need relief from her right arm - along with solid infield play and offensive production - if it wants to emerge victorious in its first Ivy League games.

For the Penn men's tennis team, relief is coming at the right time. After spending the better part of its season with a rash of injuries, the team looks to return to full strength tomorrow when it faces No. 64 Princeton (8-5) at Lott Courts in both teams' Ivy opener.