Simeon McMillan

A few tips to avoid public embarrassment in that all-important arena of collegiate social life

"Imagine a world where you could manage your entire life from Facebook - it's not that far off!" While you were home recuperating from the intellectual hazing that was Finals Week, an academic juggernaut other than Penn was "Making History". Blackboard, a premier course management website, announced the release of the Blackboard Sync - its first ever Facebook application.

Whoever said the ending is always anticlimactic couldn't have been more right. With only two weeks until graduation, I look at myself and realize how little has changed over the past four years. In many ways, I'm leaving Penn the same way I entered: broke, single and with a mild case of insomnia.

Surveying your very own tour guides is about as unbiased as holding a Russian election. Sure it's democratic, but we all know how it's going to turn out. The Admissions office should have known better than to send the annual Princeton Review questionnaire to its student ambassadors from the Kite and Key Society.

I hope the Tibetan monks don't plan to write to The Daily Pennsylvanian anytime soon to protest Chinese rule because apparently some of our readers aren't too sympathetic to diplomatic, non-militant forms of activism. The Penn chapter of the NAACP has been idiotically criticized this week for its push for long-overdue renovations to DuBois College House.

If like many a Penn student, your weekend ritual begins with communion from a shot glass and ends on your knees at the porcelain alter of your toilet, I've got news for you - you just might need Jesus. But even if he isn't your "homeboy", as per the gospel of Urban Outfitters, there's nothing wrong with engaging someone in a polite dialogue on religious issues.

When it comes to the perception of crime, Penn students need to get their priorities straight. It never ceases to amaze me how comfortable Penn students are leaving their possessions in the company of strangers. The same students who'll practice walking in circles to throw imaginary muggers off their scent will leave their $2,000 laptops unattended to wait in line for an ice-mocha-latte-frappuccino.

A lot has changed at Penn since 1977. This May the LGBT Center will celebrate it's 25th anniversary at Penn. The University has made tremendous strides in recognizing and understanding its diverse array of students. But thanks to an outdated FDA policy, any man who has ever had sex with another man (MSM) is banned for life from donating blood on campus - or anywhere else.

Last week, while you were indulging yourself for hours on JuicyCampus.com, the School of Engineering and Applied Science was wrapping up E-Week, its annual salute to problem sets, merciless grading curves and masochism in its purest form. Around the country, some used the week as an opportunity to draw attention to a familiar question - does the U.

It used to be you'd find Penn students glued to Facebook, YouTube and bad Chinese soap operas on their computers. Now procrastinators have one more thing to add to their Ivy League idleness. JuicyCampus.com, an online gossip Web site, guarantees its users complete anonymity to spread any rumor about any student on any campus.