• To students for coming together in honor of football captain Owen Thomas and raising $16,000 for suicide prevention.
• To the Penn Museum for its attempts to salvage the “Secrets of the Silk Road” exhibition after Chinese officials restricted two mummies and other rare objects from being displayed.
• To the University for its ongoing efforts to increase socioeconomic diversity, including redesigning the financial aid brochure and partnering with QuestBridge and the Posse Foundation.
• To the Admissions Office for decreasing the size of the waitlist for next year’s incoming class. Remember, bigger isn’t always better.
• To Penn scientists for learning from early mistakes in gene-therapy research and eventually developing the University’s program into one of the best in the nation.
• To the U.S. Senate for finally repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Took you long enough.
• To the Division of Public Safety for listening to students’ concerns and issuing UPennAlerts during multiple emergency situations. Better safe than sorry.
• To Kahn the Camel for laying low during the whole Spring Fling petting zoo controversy.
• To Lupe Fiasco for putting on a great show without resorting to taking off his clothes and plugging his Twitter account during the concert.
• To students who responded with disrespect to Newt Gingrich’s arrival on campus. That’s no way to treat a guest.
• To the Interfraternity Council for not publishing the results of a survey on students’ alcohol consumption habits. The University’s ineffective alcohol policy won’t revise itself.
• To the University for failing to make significant improvements in minority representation in its faculty over the past decade.
• To the Student Activities Council for its faulty budget-request system, over allocation of funds, limited oversight of student group spending and an overall lack of financial responsibility.
• To the University for leaving Counseling and Psychological Services understaffed and students without a dedicated mental health center.
• To the Junior Class Board for not allowing students to vote on the design of the Hey Day shirts. Apparently, when you forgo democracy, you end up with Flavor Flav.
• To the University for choosing not to include an AstroTurf field for the varsity field hockey team in its plans for Penn Park.
• To the Division of Public Safety for encouraging the assigned seating policy at the Spring Fling concert. Without barriers between sections, it was more meaningless than most of Flo Rida’s lyrics.
• To Philliebot for not reaching the plate when throwing the ceremonial first pitch at Citizens Bank Park. Don’t worry. It’s still good enough to be a starter for the Mets.
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