COLUMN: Fuzzy Purple Messiah

From Darin Smith's "The Balding Of.?," Fall '94 Children at this age, however, are generally not capable of constructing their own moral frameworks of behavior based on abstract ideals. Rather, they require some external imposition of behavioral guidelines to shape and direct their own sense of morality toward the common good, or at least the culturally acceptable. As much through rote memorization as through any semblance of understanding, these standards become internalized and the child becomes somewhat self-monitoring. Throughout the recent centuries, organized religion has played a major role in this process. Though the particular literary narrative of each religion differs, almost all share in common the proposal of a framework of behavior to which the faithful must adhere to attain perfection, salvation or transcendence. One practical -- if not intentional -- function of the literary features of religious texts, such as the personification of deities and the use of parables as examples of proper thinking and behavior, has been to make the moral lessons and demands more tangible and accessible to the believers. These qualities and tactics are especially effective in fostering the values prescribed by the moral framework within the hearts and minds of young believers. In recent years, our culture has moved away from the traditional unquestioning faith on which many religions count, toward a more critical approach to theology, which in turn has led many people away from organized religion altogether. Regardless of the possible factual merits of atheism, it is clear that this shift in its direction has left a void in the educational services once performed by parables and personified deities. The question begged by this situation: Who or what fills this void in the effort to instill moral values in our children? Our culture's most recent answer: Barney the Purple Dinosaur. Barney is the latest successor to a long tradition of secularized moral role models. From the Sesame Street puppets to Highlights for Children's "Goofus and Gallant," our culture has witnessed the replacement of traditional religious figures with characters intended to serve the same educational purposes without all the trappings of theology which may be unpalatable to atheistic parents. Skits and songs have replaced parables and commandments as children's references for moral propriety. Fortunately or not, it seems that our modern-day Christ/Muhammad/Buddha figures don't have the durability of their ancient predecessors, or else our society has a collective attention-deficit disorder unprecedented in recorded history. As evidenced by the overdone jokes of our comedic cultural commentators and late-night talk show hosts, the persecution of Barney has already begun. He has been accused of attempting to "indoctrinate" our children with a moral sensibility which our callous souls find objectionable. The effort to instill a sense of respect for others' rights, concern for others' physical and emotional well-being, and a reverence for simple common courtesy is apparently laughable at best and perhaps downright condemnable. Certainly Barney is a goofball, and I offer no explanation of that peanut butter song he sings ("First you take the peanuts and you smash 'em / then you take the knife and you spread it"), but we should be much more contemplative when judging him. Though we mock him gleefully, we had better hope that he does not decide his mission is not worth the trouble. Those are some very big figurative shoes his big purple feet are trying to fill, and our nation's future could possibly depend more upon his popularity as our children's role model than it does on the crime bill or any other governmental efforts to curb the moral degradation and dismissal of personal responsibility that has brought us to the recent brink of disaster. The alternative would be to actually serve as role models ourselves, a task for which we are obviously ill-prepared. Darin Smith is Records Supervisor at the University's Undergraduate Financial Aid Office and a 1993 graduate of the College. The Balding Of... will appear alternate Wednesdays.