Matt Amalfitano | Tackling Penn takes ‘GUTS'

Like most American children of our generation, I grew up watching Nickelodeon. Most of us remember Doug, Hey Dude and Legends of the Hidden Temple. Above all, though, I was rather fond of Nickelodeon’s Global GUTS. On air from 1992-1995, this classic pitted kids from all over the globe against each other in a series of physical challenges, including an ascent of the infamous “Aggro Crag” — a fabricated mountain with simulated rock avalanches, flying snow made of glitter, and, of course, “nuclear flying crystals.”

Penn is like a giant episode of Global GUTS. Instead of physical challenges, we wade across our tidal wave pool of classes, Tarzan-swing through our acappella groups and navigate the elastic jungle of Greek life. We hail from all over the globe, each of us bringing a different element to these challenges. And just as the contestants do, we “spill our GUTS” as we share what’s important to us with our friends, classmates and peers.

The Aggro Crag, though, towers over all preceding challenges. While each episode featured a wide variety of challenges, the Aggro Crag was a staple of every contestant’s bid at GUTS lore. Similarly, while our classes and student groups differ, a common Penn experience faces us all. The Aggro Crag represents this common bond: ascending the Crag means success in this game we call college.

This year’s Undergraduate Assembly will focus on making this ascent easier by unifying students in both academic and extracurricular pursuits.

— Places for all students to congregate are severely lacking. Where these spaces exist, they often do not take into account the nocturnal schedules of college students. This fall, our entire student body will be able to enjoy a new late-night study space in the basement of 1920 Commons — one that is open past midnight.

— Opportunities for diverse student groups to work together on similar programs are few and far between. However, the UA recently worked with Penn’s NSO team to fund late-night NSO events featuring exciting combinations of student groups. These student groups, as well as all others represented on the new G.O. Penn system, will enjoy increased functionality. The UA is pushing to introduce more group marketing and ticketing sales options on the site.

— Additionally, the UA is working with the Red and Blue Crew and Penn Athletics to better connect our student body to its athletic talent. More NSO changes include the addition of the Penn Athletics picnic — a UA, Red and Blue Crew and Penn Athletics partnership to introduce our new Penn athletes and school songs to the Class of 2014. The UA hopes to create lasting change to our athletic culture beyond NSO, including an event like “Midnight Madness” for Homecoming, reduced basketball ticket prices, enhanced game-time activities and a liaison program between Penn athletes and student groups.

— Two academic issues — textbook prices and online syllabi — have been on the UA agenda for quite some time. This summer the UA has moved forward rapidly on these pervasive problems. Penn students need a system to freely exchange materials with each other without a middleman. The Inter-Fraternity Council has volunteered to help the UA implement that system, which will connect our campus like never before after its release in late fall. And, at long last, online syllabi will be made a reality. The UA, the Student Committee on Undergraduate Education and the Provost’s Office recently helped create a system to prompt professors to post syllabi, monitoring those who do and those who do not.

I can’t promise the removal of “nuclear flying crystals,” but I can say that this UA is completely committed to bringing our campus together. The more we connect ourselves to Penn and each other, the more our individual Global GUTS challenges become team efforts. We’re here to help you get your piece of the Crag. Just watch out for the flying glitter snow.

Matt Amalfitano is a rising College senior from Hagerstown, Md. studying Health and Societies. He is the Undergraduate Assembly President. His e-mail address is amalf@sas.upenn.edu.

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