PrognostiQuakers

Strictly speaking, Penn won last weekend. Winning by a single point, however, over a Bucknell team that lost to Columbia is not the kind of dominance we here at PrognostiQuaking headquarters expect. And deserve. Mitchell-less or not, that was too close. If you were worried about Penn's 10-game winning streak this weekend, however, we remind you of the opponent. Silly little Columbia. The Lions have brought in a new football coach who works directly under their president, Lee Bollinger. Our first thought was to call Mr. Bollinger to get a prediction, but he was busy being the named defendant in cases about abortion, civil unions and gun rights. So we went back to another famous strategist who served as Columbia's prez -- Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower. Yes, while it might seem strange that an Ivy League school would bring in a general with little higher education experience to fill a major position in its administration, Dwight manned the post from 1948 to 1950. We called up Ike headquarters in Philadelphia where 15-year-old Chris Eisenhower was left temporarily in charge of the ongoing war against the Axis powers. The self-identified "distant cousin," while perhaps not imbibed with the loyalty for the Lions the old general had, is a little wiser on football matters. "Columbia's not the greatest," Chris tactfully pointed out. So, Chris, does that mean Penn's the pick? "They're just a lot better." Penn 13, Columbia 12

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