They stand on the sidelines at a Penn women's volleyball match, sporting their retro, yet chic, aviator sunglasses, taunting the opponents relentlessly with jeers like "We have tryouts!" or yelling "Wait!" just before the rival team serves.
While all Penn fans who witness their ridicule delight in its rancor, few know who the real fans behind these oversized shades are.
Their names are Jon Lubin, Jason Reefer, Brandon James and Chris Mullin -- all sophomores living together in the Quadrangle.
"We like to think that we're each the best hecklers from our respective areas [around the country], and fate drew us together as friends," James said.
So how did these four innocent Ivy Leaguers develop into Penn's most vicious and abusive fans?
"Last year, we actually got an early start at heckling because we used to hang out in Jon's room in Kings' Court and [he] had a window that was facing Sansom Street," James said.
"We used to turn out the lights and just heckle the mess out of everyone who walked by. We were practicing -- no malice intended -- just nice, clean fun. We came up with some rules as to the lines which we wouldn't cross."
Which are...?
"They're clouded to say the least," Reefer said.
"Try not to make it so personal," he added. "Even in the heat of battle, we still realize that it's just a game."
The four are more like situational comedians on the sidelines. For example, if you stop the game to tie your shoe, you know you're going to hear it from them as they, too, try to hold up the match to lace their own shoes.
"We're much more cleverer -- more clever -- than the average fan," Mullin said. "Anyone can chant, 'You suck! You suck! You suck!'..."
"Which we sometimes enjoy," Reefer interjected.
"But we're better than that," Mullin finished.
The quartet of hecklers tries to make even the most critical of Penn fans take note of their clever antics.
"If you can make the alumni laugh, then you know you're doing something right," James said. "They don't really appreciate the "you suck humor," but if you do something witty you can make them chuckle."
Though their real names are Jon, Jason, Brandon and Chris, these become only aliases when the four hit the sidelines.
Almost instantaneously Brandon and Chris are Dr. Heckle and Mr. Chide, respectively. Lubin is the Masterhater. Jason is Darth Aviator due to the crew's crazy specs.
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Before volleyball matches, the four usually enter the Palestra and warm up, stretch, and run laps with the opposing team.
When this is through, they make their way to the first row of the chair back section where they receive their ritual admonition from the referee, who tells them that they can cheer, but they cannot single out any player.
This warning is usually ignored.
"No shame at all," Lubin said. "One-hundred percent pride of going over the line."
"You're not a good heckler if you have shame," Mullin said.
"You leave shame at the door," added James.
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It's not hard to see the great impact that these hecklers have had on the volleyball team. Since they started going to games on Oct. 25, the Quakers have won an unprecedented 11-straight league wins and an Ivy League championship.
"On the court, it's obvious that the hecklers are in their head," volleyball captain Stacey Carter said. "They help the momentum. After one game, my parents told me that a few of the girls on the other team walked over to them and flicked them off."
"One of my favorite things they did is when we shut down Harvard, scoring 11 points in a row, and then Harvard scored one," Carter said. "They got everyone to stand up and applaud the one point. It was so sarcastic!"
Senior Liz Watty agrees.
"We can win without them, but they make the games more fun," she said. "It gets into the other teams' heads, giving us a home court advantage. I like how they don't know much about volleyball rules so they just use basketball cheers, like 'Air ball!' and 'It's all over!'"
Both believe that these four are the best fans in the Ancient Eight.
"We've been to other schools where the fans can be very mean," Carter said. "Our fans are the classiest."
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But the gang of four should not be confused with one-sport hecklers.
This week the gang switches its gibes to the basketball team, as they are the heads of the Red and Blue Crew.
"We're basically a group of kids who love Penn basketball..." Mullin said.
"...but aren't really good enough to play Penn basketball," Reefer chimed in.
The Crew has been in existence for several years but hasn't done much more than hand out free tee shirts and make banners for games.
Lubin and Co. have plans in the works for the expansion of the Red and Blue Crew.
"Coach Dunphy realizes that this club is just in its infancy stages, and that under our direction it will soar to new heights," Lubin said.
"This year, when you get [to the Palestra], you already have on your seat the information that you're going to need for that night's game," he promised. "You will know what to say when certain players are on the foul line.
"We are going to be the most angry and organized fans in Division-I."
In the spirit of the Ivy League, the four intend on doing strenuous research on their opponents in order to make their taunts especially vile.
"We have friends across the Ivy League and we IM them and ask, 'Do you know this player? Yea, you do? So did he break up with his girlfriend recently?'" Reefer said. "Then we use this information against them when they're trying to concentrate on making a key foul shot. The element of surprise is always a plus."
Lubin uses far more insidious means to conduct this research.
"It's possible that I may have created a fictitious screen name on which I pose as false students from certain universities to talk to certain basketball players to uncover dirty, embarrassing information," Lubin said. "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well."
Lubin was recently selected as Penn basketball's biggest fan and was named Line Leader for Penn's annual basketball season ticket distribution, giving him first choice seats.
In order to win this award, Lubin, a contestant last year on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire", had to write an essay about why he loved to go to Penn basketball games.
"It was more of a parable," he said. "I told a story about the Princeton-Yale game held last year at the Palestra, the neutral site from which the winner would play Penn for the Ivy League championship."
"I went to the game with Chris and to make a long story short, I almost got in a fight with a 65-year-old man from Princeton and an angry mob of fans from Yale," he continued. "We brought a huge sign that says, 'It doesn't matter,' and unfolded it at half time, and the Penn fans at the stadium were rocking. It truly showed the effect that a dedicated fan can have."
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So what are Penn's four biggest fans' predictions for the upcoming men's basketball season?
"Final Four," Lubin quickly answered. "There is not one team in men's Division-I that has more experience. We returned 99.5 percent of scoring and that's got to count for something."
Mullin is more realistic.
"Sweet 16 is definitely within our reach," he said. "Anything beyond there is a lot of luck."
So when you're watching the Quakers take on Penn State in its season opener on Saturday night at the Palestra, look to the front row of the student section at the four guys in their aviator sunglasses -- you can witness the art of heckling at its finest.
Sure, they might be go a bit overboard with their humor sometimes, but as Lubin said, "If I don't cross the line, how am I supposed to know where it is?"
