*This article appeared in the 4/1/02 Joke Issue* Due to a mix-up over the Spring Fling concert, De La Soul withdrew on Friday from the lineup for the April 12 kickoff show.
The hip-hop trio said they felt the Hill Field event was not a large enough venue for a group of their popularity, and are now refusing to open for George Clinton and the P-Funk All Stars, following the performances of ska-punk group Lucky Boys Confusion and Winona Rider's boyfriend Pete Yorn.
"We're truly upset that the misunderstanding has escalated to this drastic level," Social Planning and Events Committee Concerts Co-Director Kirk Freeman said. "The campus will surely miss De La Soul's high-energy, delightful array of funky rhythms and comic touches."
De La Soul member Trugoy the Dove claims that they pulled out of the program because the three felt that they had been led to believe the Fling concert was much bigger than it actually is.
"Also, when I picked up a copy of The Daily Pennsylvanian the other week and read that we were headlining, I really believed it," the Dove said. "Because I know Matthew Mugmon is dedicated to delivering my daily dose of truth.
"I guess SPEC was holding out for a bigger name," he continued. "But no one plays De La Soul like that. Fo[r] real."
However, De La Soul's retraction may not stem from just a scheduling confusion.
Clinton alleges that De La Soul's decision to cancel is far more complex, as a deep-seated "bizeef" has existed between the two groups since De La sampled P-Funk's 1979 track "Not Just (Knee Deep)" without permission for their 1989 hit single, "Me, Myself and I."
"You know that groovilicious tune you hear throughout that song? That's pure Parliament Funkadelic," Clinton said. "De La Soul? More like De La Ambrose. They plagiarized my dope dog funkiness, and they know they can't compete with the real thing on stage."
"Ba-ba ba-ba, bomp bomp, buh buh buh," he added.
But De La Soul members deny that the decade-old rights battle is the root of their withdrawal.
"That's just ri-de-la-diculous," trio member Pasemaster Mase rebutted. "This has nothing to do with Clinton's funkiness."
Despite the trio's last-minute cancellation, tickets are still available today on Locust Walk for $15 to PennCard holders and $20 to the public. The price at the entrance will be $20 for students and $25 for general admission.
Most students say they are still planning to attend the concert in spite of De La Soul's cancellation, but some said that the news comes as a disappointment.
"I'm a little upset about it," College sophomore Marisa Perez said. "I was pretty pumped to hear 'Be My Lover.' Wait, never mind, that was La Bouche, wasn't it? Are you going to print that?"
The funds that SPEC originally allocated for De La Soul's performance salary will now go toward providing concert attendees with free snack foods, which will include pizzas, a whole lotta water and Funyons.
And because the three remaining bands have already scheduled their time slots around De La Soul's act, SPEC plans to fill the interim period between Yorn's and Clinton's performances with a wet T-shirt contest for girls and a best buns competition for guys, each of which will present its winner with a $50 gift certificate to Izzy and Zoe's.
"We were actually initially aiming for a sleazy, Fort Lauderdale spring break feel to Fling this year," Freeman said. "So, in fact, this whole fiasco worked out alright."
Clinton agreed that the contests should set the appropriate mood for his wild and crazy show.
"Whoo-hoo, ohhh, hoo hoo!" Clinton exclaimed.
Contest entrance passes are available for $10 today and tomorrow on Locust Walk for hot PennCard holders only.
But not all people are interested in what Clinton and the hot young students have to offer. History Professor Thomas Childers has stated that he will not attend the show because Clinton has allegedly plagiarized from Childers' book Wings of Morning in several of his songs.
