COLUMN: "Memoirs of an Ex-Rush"

From Brandon Fogel and Jason Seiden's "Skippy Gone Batty," Spring '92 Bat: Earlier this week I was privileged enough to read through yet more fraternity-bashing articles in well-respected publications. Skippy: Well said, Bat. My sentiments exactly. Our experience with the Greek system here at Penn has so far been immensely beneficial. We are Skippy and Bat, and we are ex-rushes. We endured the process through which so-called penis-waving facists select their future members. To outsiders, this process, Rush, is shrouded in mystery and is often cited as evidence of fraternity exclusivity and elitism. These people, along with some who did participate, just don't know what Rush is. Rush is many things. It's a good time. It's nerve-racking. It's what you do to open up the passing game. Most of all it's a once-in-a-lifetime experience. For those of you confused over taxonomy, consider this sentence: A rush rushes during Rush. Rushing is a lot like scamming (please excuse the P.C. infraction -- but girls do it, too). That is, meeting brothers during Rush is comparable to meeting women at a party or bar. Bat: I was once pondering the similarity with a brother who told me to "use the same lines." So I asked him if his father was a thief and went from there. Skippy: It sounds funny, but the analogy between rushing and scamming is true. Of course, the end results are different, but the process is the same. Rush just means meeting people and hanging out. Oh sure, there are events, but they are all the same at heart. During "Monday Night Football," everyone just sat around and talked. At casino night events, everyone gambled and sat around and talked. On a trip to Lehigh for the Penn football game, everyone climbed goal-posts, sang rockin' early-eighties tunes and sat around and talked. For those who weren't skilled at hanging out, Rush provided some excellent practice. Bat: That may sound funny also, but there is an excellent point to be made there, too. I met more than a hundred people -- some of them several times -- and as I had more and more practice, my conversational and relational skills increased dramatically. Most professions, with the possible exception of mathematics teaching assistant, require just this kind of skill. Through Rush, I became proficient at making small-talk. My mother noticed this on Parent's Weekend when I actually held a conversation with my step-father. But Rush wasn't just about meeting other people, it was about meeting yourself too. The stress of having other people scrutinize my life and my personality forced me to examine and question just who I was and who I wanted to be. Could I be the kind of person they wanted? Would I want to be that person? Who was the real me, anyway? I found myself in a minor identity crisis, and complete introspection was my only way out. I saw some things about myself that I liked, and some I didn't. By Fall Break, two weeks into Rush, I had begun seriously evaluating my current life and what I thought of the fraternity life I had glimpsed so far. I was trying to decide if that was something I wanted to pursue. One thing was for sure: if I did change, it would be for myself, not for anyone else. And for all of you disbelievers giving me nasty looks on Locust Walk, I will not take off my Redskins boxers. And to the brothers who tried to taint the Burgandy-and-Gold: You can all go to hell, 'cause I'm going to the Super Bowl . . . Skippy: Many people forget that Rush not just a one-way deal. Just as freshman guys are busy trying to get to know the brothers, the houses are equally as busy trying to befriend the rushes. So why are people surprised to find out guys make friends during Rush? I didn't join a fraternity out of insecurity, or even because of a misguided Oedipal complex. I joined because (shocker!) I liked the guys in the house. Not the stereotypical "type-of-guy" in the house, either. I mean the actual, breathing guys in the house. I incidentally also happen to like my pledge brothers, too. Can you believe it? Probably not. Many refuse to see that the friendships and bonds fraternity brothers share started way back in the days of rushing, before bids were signed; relationships between pledges are genuine, not forced or artificial. If I don't love one of my pledge brothers, that's acceptable (what'd he say?!?). With twenty-seven guys in the class, there's space to move around. Rush was all about choices. No one told us which fraternities to rush or which brothers to meet. We made the choice to begin rushing, to finish rushing and eventually to pledge. We realized that a fraternity could not decide who our friends would be; our options may have become more limited, but we still have complete control over whom we become close with. Pledging is giving us, as Rush did, the opportunity to meet and get to know a lot of guys we probably would not have met otherwise. We are making good friends, with the kind of people we want as our friends. They help us cope with a university life that is crazy enough to drive a sane guy batty. Jason "Skippy" Seiden is a freshman Entrepreneurial Management major from Highland Park, Illinois. Brandon "Wombat" Fogel is a freshman Physics major from Potomac, Maryland. "Skippy Gone Batty" will appear alternate Fridays.