Luke Hassall

Former columnist Luke Hassall writes a farewell column advising students not to listen to other people's advice — except for his, that is.

I have here some guidelines to ensure that all your future classes are more awesome and funsies than any of the duds you’ve probably been picking by yourself.

Almost all foreigners who have ever come into contact with it possess an instinctual fear of the United States immigration and customs bureaucracy.

There are many different routes to academic success. Yet few classes allow students full rein over how to manage their time and efforts.

With so many Penn students looking for jobs in the finance, is it any surprise that reining that industry in generates little political excitement?

The conventional explanation for Penn students' non-attendance at sports games is that we lack school spirit or pride. But we show our pride in diverse fashions.

Start anew and pick your own traditions. Odds are, you don’t really enjoy at least a few of your family’s typical holiday activities, and there’s no reason to keep them up.

It seems that the easy post-graduation options are returning home or living in the BosWash megalopolis. But don’t. For the love of God, don’t.

Fail to learn Chinese at your peril. Not only is Chinese one of the most useful languages for any person to know, it is also relatively easy.

The organization of U.S. high schools means anyone can rack up leadership roles and be taught to write a good application essay. Those abilities shouldn’t have anything to do with Penn.