Former Penn closer Doug Brown may have found the secret to revive his pitching career. And believers in baseball's new mystical pitch may have to look no further than Meiklejohn Stadium. Brown has learned how to throw a "gyroball," a pitch allegedly invented by an Asian physicist and thrown by new Red Sox starter Daisuke Matsuzaka.

Don't sue - this is what happens when a group of editors are cooped up in the same, windowless office every single night.

Jesus Christ, move over - there's a new religion in town. Barbaro, the recently euthanized Kentucky Derby winner that captured the hearts of an entire nation of middle-aged women, is still captivating avid followers from beyond the grave.

Irina Malinovskaya, the Wharton undergraduate currently awaiting a third trial for murder, has been put on academic release and will continue her studies at Penn.

Hot in herre To the Editor: Before the holidays, I noticed that the Douglas cosmetics store on Walnut Street had their doors flung open during business hours. Perhaps this was a clever marketing technique. And the warm weather we experienced made it seem frivolous but not too wasteful.

Come Friday, Spring Fling concertgoers will get the chance to "Fight the Power" with one of hip hop's seminal groups. SPEC Concerts announced last night that Public Enemy, the politically charged rap group founded by Flavor Flav and Chuck D, will be co-headlining with Ben Folds at this years Fling Concert.

Having already come clean about Penn's relationship with Citibank, one University VIP continues on his honesty kick.

Drew Gilpin Faust is set to take the reigns as Harvard University's 28th president this summer, but whether she will also become the institution's first female president is now less certain. In confidential documents obtained by The Daily Pennsylvanian, several members of Harvard's Board of Overseers called Faust's gender into question.

0People who read the Daily Digit on a daily basis.

Looks like it's out with the old - and out with the Nu. After a few incidents at a Sigma Nu-sponsored party this weekend at Club 27 downtown, the IFC announced on Monday that it would be suspending the fraternity's charter indefinitely and that they would lose their house at 38th and Walnut streets at the end of the semester.

In the wake of strong pressure from disgruntled students and alumni, University officials have revoked their invitation to former Secretary of State James Baker to speak at this year's Commencement.

Penn's Division of Public Safety will no longer release any information regarding crimes that occur in the Penn Police patrol zone, DPS officials announced yesterday. The move will make it impossible for anyone outside DPS to know when crimes are committed or track trends and statistics concerning area crime.

After deadlocking in negotiations with Google and Microsoft to replace the aging Webmail system, Penn administrators have finally found a solution. By next semester, Webmail will be gone for good, replaced by an innovative new system hosted by Western Union.

In the end, it's not about putting your family in a good environment. It's not about a commitment to winning. It's not about the money. Wait - actually, it is about the money. At least it is for Billy Gillispie, who signed on as Princeton's basketball coach just a week after inking with Kentucky, just a week after re-signing with Texas A&M;.

Wilson hires Penn's O-line coach to teach his guys how to tackle Acting on a pledge he made in 2006, Columbia football coach Norries Wilson hired Penn offensive line coach Jon McLaughlin yesterday. "What we should do is hire Penn's O-line coach to teach our guys how to tackle," Wilson had said after his defense was manhandled by Penn.

Robb. Ward. McIntosh. The terrific trio - one part accused murder, one part child pornographer and one part sexual offender - is coming back to campus to teach Penn students, O.J. Simpson-style. The Criminology department has sponsored a symposium, to be held next Thursday, that will feature the three embattled professors' thoughts on the art of not getting caught.

This may be more than just a drive-thru experience for actor Kal Penn. Penn, already slated to teach two undergraduate courses in the University's Asian American Studies Program for the spring 2008 semester, will now replace Fred Scatena as the Department Chair of Earth and Environmental Science.