Jacob Schutz

I never much considered the way the health of my University was tied to the well-being of the financial markets. It is perhaps a naive state of mind, considering the presence of dear Wharton on our campus, but I always imagined that universities held a special position above the fray of economic cycles.

There are many things I don't understand about the past: powdered wigs, the Puritans, Richard Nixon, disco. The full list is more extensive (though a lot is related to disco and Nixon), but perhaps most baffling to my 21st-century mind is the concept of scholarship before the Internet.

Dear Reader: It's time to come clean with you. The picture in the upper right corner of this column, supposedly representing my shining face to the world, is a scam. A photographer took the picture during the first week of the semester when I still had a full beard.

This last week, I read about 30 e-mails about events occurring on campus, received a dozen or so Facebook messages and had countless awkward confrontations on Locust Walk. Then there was the PennPortal calendar of events, the Fisher-Hassenfeld (where I'm a Residential Adviser) Web site of House events and SPEC's combination of posters and e-mails.

Today marks the second day of the Muslim Student Association's Islam Awareness Week on campus. While I'm typically ambivalent toward awareness campaigns - there are so many that it seems difficult to focus energy on any one topic - I believe a campus dialogue about Islam is valuable.

In May, I was dumped by e-mail. I received an notice from Student Financial Services telling me I would need to select a new lender for my Federal Stafford Loan. My original lender - along with 136 other institutions - had stopped offering the loans. A couple months later, a friend at another school updated her Facebook status to say she "thinks student loan companies can suck it.

It's always about this time of year that I start to lose the middle ground between working hard and playing hard. At this point in the semester, I actually have to produce grade-able work and complete time-intensive reading assignments. From Sunday through Thursday I'm a human dynamo of nervous energy - constantly churning out papers and practice exams.

'A pragmatic love of knowledge." In case you haven't seen any of Penn's recent advertising material, this phrase is now linked to our University with such other buzzwords as "entrepreneurship," "invention" and "outreach." The phrase represents a nervousness about appearing too intellectual, too smart for our own good.

As the Class of 2012 arrives on campus, they will be thrust into a bewildering new environment with little to no operational knowledge. What food trucks to go to (Yue Kee and Magic Carpet), what classes to take (Creative Writing) and where - or more importantly where not - to go within West Philadelphia? As usual, the University has provided information on this last question to incoming freshmen through an imposing presentation of the Penn patrol zone.

Parents sending their kids off to Penn undoubtedly hope to receive calls about their child's progress through college. They probably hope those calls are not notifying them that their children have been abusing drugs or alcohol. According to a Wall Street Journal article published last week, an increasing number of universities are contacting parents about their underage children's alcohol and drug violations, sometimes for the first offense.