The federal government is in trouble. No, not for the usual litany of reasons concerning diplomatic blunders abroad, lack of unilateral credibility or a skyrocketing deficit. This time, it's about Boomsday - the looming retirement of thousands of baby boomers from the government.

Loftstel, a combination of "loft" and "hostel," is a house that provides temporary housing for guests - often students - who need a place to stay for anywhere from a night to six months. In addition to Philadelphia, it has locations in New York City, Los Angeles and Washington, D.

There are some things you see in life that you can be absolutely certain you will never witness again. Watching a 10-foot-tall papier mache woman give birth would qualify. So would seeing the King of Pop hurdle and flip at 40 miles per hour or hearing someone say, "No, I think the other cheesesteak mobile was faster."

Facing match point against Bowling Green on Friday, junior Anne Magnuson rose high above the right side of the net and slammed a cross-court kill to keep the Penn volleyball team alive. The Quakers had already turned a 22-17 first-set deficit against Fairfeld into a straight-set win earlier that day.

The Undergraduate Assembly met last night for the first time this semester under the leadership of new chairman College and Wharton senior Wilson Tong. A handful of freshmen who are interested in running for a UA seat attended the meeting and raised issues that they thought needed to be addressed after only a few weeks on campus.

The Division of Public Safety says changes to the walking-escort system are prompting positive feedback about the service. Beginning in November, DPS required Allied Barton security officers to carry visible photo IDs and give students a service card with their names and an e-mail address for feedback.

Normally I wouldn't waste my time perusing a site like Juicy Campus, because it's just a bunch of anonymous kids gossiping and venting anger. But when a fit of boredom recently brought me to the site, I discovered something I never expected. One of Penn's posts, "Ghetto Tours on Campus," caught my eye.

From Stanford to Syracuse, new professors flocked from across the country to teach at Penn this year. But no matter where they come from, the people who get up and lecture to undergraduates each semester have gone through a rigorous selection process and training to meet the University's high standards.

Just 23 minutes into the Penn men's soccer season opener on Friday night, Quakers sophomore Loukas Tasigianis set off a scuffle when he took down Marquette's Matt Stummer . Penn captain John Elicker and Marquette forward Anthony Colaizzi ran in to break it up.

In 15 matches last season, Penn midfielder Natalie Capuano tallied only three goals on 16 shots. But with juniors Jessica Fuccello and Jess Rothenheber - the team's leading scorers last season - absent due to injury, senior captain Capuano stepped up with two goals on Sunday and led the Quakers to a 3-0 win over Robert Morris.

As the Class of 2012 arrives on campus, they will be thrust into a bewildering new environment with little to no operational knowledge. What food trucks to go to (Yue Kee and Magic Carpet), what classes to take (Creative Writing) and where - or more importantly where not - to go within West Philadelphia? As usual, the University has provided information on this last question to incoming freshmen through an imposing presentation of the Penn patrol zone.

The PennCard software is getting its first makeover in six years, but its impact will be felt mainly be PennCard administrators, not card carriers. The new software will mainly help the PennCard office handle what Business Services spokeswoman Barbara Lea-Kruger called "idiosyncratic" situations that come up occasionally.

Because professors select the textbooks students must buy, they are caught in the center of a debate over book prices and industry practices. Experts say professors are increasingly concerned about what students shell out but must balance easing financial burdens with finding high-quality materials that complement their courses.

Total crime on and near campus for both the summer months and the year-to-date is lower than last year. Year-to-date crimes in the Penn patrol zone dropped from 616 reported incidents in 2007 to 579 in 2008, a 6-percent decrease. The summer crime rate showed an even greater drop with a 21-percent decrease in incidents between 2007 and 2008.

Delaware Sen. Joe Biden, a Scranton, Pa., native, is often referred to as "Pennsylvania's third senator" for his strong ties to the state. Last Friday morning, it was obvious why, as the Democratic vice-presidential nominee spoke confidently to nearly 200 invited guests at the Ironworkers Union in Northeast Philadelphia.

Amira Fawcett is an Engineering senior from Houston, Texas. Her e-mail address is fawcett@dailypennsylvanian.com.

The new face of Student Health Service is just what the doctor ordered. Thanks to the new facilities at 3535 Market St., SHS can handle more patients any day. The new space more than doubles the number of patient rooms and gives clinicians, nurses, administrative staff and other employees more room to go about their respective business.