University officials announced yesterday that Donald Trump, 1964 Wharton alumnus, donated $100 million for a new building that will be erected over the existing Steinberg-Dietrich Hall. The complex will be renamed Steinberg-Trump-Dietrich Hall. "This donation will help us make STD the campus's first skyscraper," said University spokeswoman Lori Doyle.

For the first time in Penn's history, 32 members of the Undergraduate Assembly resigned last night after College senior and newly-self-appointed UA president Jason Karsh staged a coup and gave himself power over all of the body's decisions. "Basically, Karsh refused to even consider the idea of giving up his power to next year's executive board - a decision that I, a fellow president whose power is so frequently usurpated by Congress, sympathize with," said U.

In this primary season's most heated contest so far, Democratic presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama came to University City for a high-stakes, late-night bowling match at Strikes Tuesday. "The primary season was just dragging on so long," said Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean.

*This article appeared in the 2008 Joke Issue.

The University was awarded its highest credit rating ever by credit rating agency Standard and Poor's last month. S&P; upgraded Penn's credit rating from an AA to AA+, the second highest rating possible, in its annual evaluation. "It reflects favorably on our financial and institutional reputation," Vice President of Finance and Treasury Stephen Golding said.

Students frantically clacking away on laptops and texting on BlackBerries are increasingly common sights in Penn lecture halls. Some educators fear the advent of new technology signals the collapse of written expression. But others consider it a new frontier of communication that gives students more practice and pleasure in writing.

For Wharton freshman Alex Hill, the trek to class every morning takes about an hour - by SEPTA. Hill, who lives in Oxford Circle in Northeast Philadelphia, is one of about 175 Penn freshmen who currently live at home in or around Philadelphia and commute to campus every day, according to director of business services Barbara Lea-Kruger.

As the University marches toward a sustainable future, Penn continues to make LEED certification a major initiative in its newly constructed buildings. But while institutions continue to strive for this goal, they are realizing that in order to build green, they must shell out some green in the process.

Life in a new city can be a challenging experience for any young college graduate. It's even more difficult when that city is on a different continent and doesn't even have so much as a street sign for guidance. Such was the experience for Jareau Wade, a 2007 Engineering alumnus who returned to Penn last week having spent much of the last year working a dream job that has tested the skills he learned as a Quaker - teaching much of what he learned at Penn to students at a startup school in Ghana.

Twenty percent of college students - a total of 1.7 million individuals - lack health insurance and racked up $120 to 235 million in uncompensated medical bills, according to a recent report released by the U.S. Government Accountability Office. Of those who are insured, there was a great disparity in the quality of their coverage, the report found.

Over 20 years ago, a doctor convinced his friends and family to sponsor him while he ran around a track to raise money for cancer research. From that day was born Relay For Life, whose tradition was carried on this weekend by 1,800 participants at Penn's fifth annual Relay, held at the Palestra due to poor weather conditions.

A pair of awards given by the Army Research Laboratory and the Office of Naval Research will give the Engineering School nearly $30 million in grant money over the next 10 years for robotics research, officials at the school said. The grants, which total $22 million and $7.

The agenda was heavy but the mood was light at the Undergraduate Assembly's second-to-last meeting of the year this past Sunday night. Four new pieces of legislation were passed, including two budget requests for the pre-orientation programs PennGREEN and PennArts.

A male Penn employee received a terroristic threat from an unidentified female Thursday at about 3 p.m., according to Det. James Horm of the Philadelphia Police. The incident took place at 31st and Chestnut streets, according to the Division of Public Safety's crime log.

April 1 may have passed, but that hardly means admissions officers are packing their bags and jetting off to Acapulco. While interim Dean of Admissions Eric Kaplan wrote in an e-mail that "April is one of the most rewarding months" in his field, the work has hardly stopped.

High-school senior Erica Yeon of Central High School of Philadelphia was thrilled with both her acceptance letter from Penn and the financial-aid package it offered. "Financial aid is something I definitely need to go to Penn," said Yeon, who plans on joining Penn's new class of 2012.

It's been more than three months since this year's first presidential primary - but despite the long, still-contested race for the Democratic nomination, Penn students and political groups are still interested and motivated. Most pundits predicted a quick primary season, expecting the nominations for both parties to be wrapped up after 22 states voted on Super Tuesday.