The Daily Pennsylvanian’s annual gag issue has a long history, of which another chapter has been written today. Every year at about this time, tradition dictates that DP editors turn their usually proper paper into a playful parody.

In the face of the looming student government sequestration, the verbal blows between administrators and student leaders have begun.

A wave of lunchtime robberies has many students hungry for an answer.

DRL is coming soon to a location near you.

The Quakers are looking forward to the chance to keep their season going for one more day.

If Amy Gutmann gets her wish, she’ll be getting “ratchet” and going to spas with Vice President Joe Biden in a few weeks.

Look out for some new soup options offered at 1920 Commons in the next few weeks.

Members of the Penn Hillel community are banding together in support of a prospective student who wrote about more than just his world-famous matzah balls in an application essay.

While writing seminar has been at the core of the freshman academic schedule for years, Director of Critical Writing Valerie Ross announced Tuesday that it will be removed as a core requirement starting fall 2013.

The public is far less educated about student government than one may think.

Naderol is now officially “The Drink of the Quakers.”

After months of research and deliberation, Penn has finally decided to divest itself of the Wharton School.

Computer access, printing and more—the Wharton account grants a student the right to many of Huntsman Hall’s valuable resources. Other Penn students are now getting to share a piece of the pie.

College and Wharton senior and Integrated Studies Board Chair Jason Franks grew up the youngest of nine children on a Pueblo Indian Reservation in Laguna, N.M.

The community awaits white smoke from St. Mary’s church on 39th Street and Locust Walk as campus leaders decide the next chaplain after Chaplain Chaz Howard’s Tuesday resignation.

The Division of Public Safety and the Office of Alcohol and Other Drug Program Initiatives will be implementing a Breathalyzer test for students entering and already inside of the Quad during Spring Fling.