Ola Osinaike | Racism, suck it up

Last fall, the night after President Obama was re-elected, I was in downtown Philadelphia and was told by a clearly drunk group of males that “You and your n****r president are going to hell.” I didn’t fire back any clever remarks. I didn’t “turn the other cheek.” I just stood there and took it.

What is our duty when someone insults our race? Do we have an obligation to society and fellow citizens to go on a tirade? Or should we expect better of ourselves and just take it?

The situation in which a random racist approaches and insults you isn’t worth the time to worry about resolving. It hurts, but you shouldn’t allow it to evoke an emotional reaction out of you.

The biggest difference between the racism that I face today as a black male and the racism that my African ancestors faced is that my problems are easier to deal with.

Sometimes it’s better to just suck it up. For your own personal growth and emotional strength, it might be better in some instances to simply ignore whatever phrase or remark is thrown your way.

Let me be clear — I am in no way justifying racism. I hate being judged by another person’s stereotypes and fears of black men — it makes my blood boil.

However, I have larger problems to deal with than one person’s bigotry. Moreover, if I were born in 1800, there would be a chance that I might be lynched, watch my wife be raped, have parts of my body cut off or see my children sold to another slaveowner, never to be seen again.

So when I hear someone drunkenly call me a “n****r” today as an aimless insult, in 2013, I expect myself to ignore it.

If there are still people in remote places in the world who are raised in war zones, who have seen multiple loved ones murdered because of their religion, or who have parts of their bodies chopped because their social identifier made them truly helpless, then I can ignore a slur or remark.

If I were 13 or any younger, an event like the one last fall would have had a big effect on me. Once you reach a certain age, though, you should have learned that not everyone in the world will respect you or like you. Expecting someone to feel remorseful is a waste of time. If I have the same angry reaction now as I would have had when I was 13, then the whole event displays something about the both of us. He might be racist, but I haven’t matured as an individual.

As a society, both social media and the news erupt when a new celebrity is caught using a racist term. Recent scandals surrounding Paula Dean and Riley Cooper caused a firestorm, and rightfully so. Society will punish individuals who step out of line. But as an individual, don’t we have a responsibility to ourselves to have a thick enough skin that each insult doesn’t shake us to our core?

This frame of thinking does not completely relate to instances of homophobia and sexism. Homosexual individuals still lack many civil rights, even in the United States — 35 states still outlaw same-sex marriage. Women are still all-too-commonly victims of domestic, physical and sexual abuse. For example, the Department of Defense estimated that 26,000 women in the military were sexually assaulted between 2011-2012.

Obviously if racism escalates to a physical level, you shouldn’t just suck it up, but generally racism takes on a much less physical form. Here in the United States, all ethnicities have basic civil rights. Although there are substantial gaps in achievement due to past socioeconomic forces, most people would agree that efforts, even if often ineffective, are being made to fix those disparities.

Stereotypes and prejudices are abundant, but they only have the power you give them. You should want to grow stronger as an individual and not give someone the power to ruin your day. If you can ignore someone’s racism, do it, because it makes it insignificant.

Ola Osinaike is a College and Wharton sophomore from Chicago. His email address is osinaike@sas.upenn.edu. “Aristeia” appears every other Thursday.

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