Expecting a thrilling ride in the dark alleyways of West Philadelphia, we were surprised when we ended up taking a scenic tour of the city at night.
After all, crime beats at The Daily Pennsylvanian aren’t used to being passive bystanders.
“Sorry I can’t invent crime for you guys,” lieutenant Andrew Malloy apologized.
With our bulletproof vests tightly strapped over our Penn sweatshirts, we waddled around the Division of Public Safety headquarters behind Malloy, a middle-aged commanding officer who majored in American History at Penn.
Before we left for the ride-along, Malloy showed us a space informally known as the “Man-Trap,” where prisoners are brought in for thorough investigation.
It was in the Man-Trap that we faced our first adversary: a lifeless, 150-pound dummy used for training. After a curt introduction, we left him behind in the Man-Trap as we loaded ourselves into Malloy’s patrol car.
As officers from an unmarked police car pulled up behind us, returning from their shifts, we slipped into Malloy’s car and began our own night prowl.
It was hard to believe that it was all just one patrol zone. The Schuylkill River, the eastern border of campus, resembled thick tar beneath the sky scrapers of Center City.
Through our winding twists and turns, the empty streets showed varying snapshots of campus. The beauty of leafless trees and fluorescent lights that lined every street made campus seem calm, but desolate.
On one street stood a stretch of brick homes still wrapped with Christmas lights, and sports jerseys hung on rows of windows for display. Penn patrol officers seemed to be stationed anywhere we turned.
Our collective car sickness was either due to the adrenaline of the uneventful night or Malloy’s sudden stops after cruising at 30 miles per hour. Either way, the joy ride through Philadelphia was a little less action than we had expected.
Granted, it was a Monday night.
The highlight of our tour was when Malloy astutely noticed a broken light on 40th and Locust streets and promptly alerted the hazard to his colleagues on his walkie-talkie.
He also recounted his days as an officer and Penn student. With 21 years under his belt, Malloy was nonchalant about what he’s seen in the past two decades.
He added that a heart attack victim making a miraculous recovery was one of the highlights of the past few weeks.
While passing by an empty Blarney’s, Malloy mentioned that Feb Clubbers haven’t been as wild as they were ten years ago. “But let me know if you’ve seen thousands of students going to these events,” he added.
If only Feb Club were still in its prime, maybe we’d have more to write about.
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