'Sexpert' lectures on safe sex

"Susie Sexpert" -- a.k.a. Susie Bright -- delighted a large audience last night with a frank and funny talk on just about everything there is to know about sex. Bright, a nationally recognized "pro-sex" activist, co-founder of the women's erotic magazine On Our Backs, founder of the Sexuality Library, author of such books as Herotica and Sexwise -- and a single mother -- shared her rich experience in a down-to-earth manner. "What I am offering in education is more than a condom on a banana rap," Bright said. Bright delivered the keynote speech for Penn's commemoration of World AIDS Day in David Rittenhouse Laboratory. Facilitating Learning About Sexual Health (FLASH) invited her to speak last night because World AIDS Day was held Sunday, while many students were away from campus. But AIDS was only the springboard for a wide spectrum of sexual discussion. Bright said she noticed a change in demand for her services as AIDS became a major concern. The political reaction was to "discipline the children," she said. "[But] I have a very frustrated and angry reaction to that notion." Bright challenged what she called "righteous and conservative" politicians to disclose the age at which they began their own sexual relations. "The number one risk as far as unsafe sex is to be stupid, get high and just do whatever, but most importantly to be stupid," Bright said, stressing the importance of being able to make intelligent decisions. "If you don't know what you want to say yes to, it's very difficult to know what to say no to," she warned. The goal is to "say yes without duress." Bright began her career in a feminine sexual toys store fresh out of college, with the rationale, "I had a vibrator; I was a feminist; I thought I'd fit in." Amidst the eruption of laughter that followed her witty commentary throughout the night, Bright described her enjoyment of serving a role as sex educator and exposing the "secret" world of sex in a free environment. Concerned with more than the physical aspects of sex, Bright emphasized the need to discuss the effects of sex on one's mind. In giving people advice on physical problems, she always discusses the mental aspects of sex as well. She related an incident when her daughter's 15-year-old babysitter got chlamydia after her first sexual encounter. "She didn't know what it was -- let alone how to spell it!" exclaimed Bright. Sex should be discussed as more than something to be prevented, for "if it were just about pregnancy and disease, I don't think people would do it so often," Bright pointed out. Sexuality is more than what people learn in grade school sex-ed classes. As Bright added, "If something isn't clicking up here," as she taps her head, "it's a big snooze." But she also made clear that just because she is "Susie Sexpert," she doesn't have "explosive sex" all the time. Bright surveyed audience members, who responded confidentially to her questions on notecards. "I have to find out what is going on here. When people don't talk a lot about sex, there are projections made about how common or unusual you are," she explained. She tried to spark participation with her promise of "I'll tell you what everyone said at Harvard." Amidst laughter, the audience answered questions about gender, age, masturbation, orgasms, virginity, sexual orientation and their level of satisfaction with their love lives. Common responses delineated the differences between men and women. For example, Bright said, "I never had a man walk into the store and say, 'I don't know where my penis is and I don't have orgasms'." But 25 percent of women respond negatively to questions on masturbation and orgasm, she added. And men value the quantity of sex while women value the quality of sex. Bright categorized men as saying, "I'm lucky, it's happening to me, I'm a 10." After years of touring college campuses, Bright offered her statistics on university sex lives. "Williams is doing it the least and Vassar is the most busy," she announced. Penn's figures will be tallied and revealed at a later date. Audience questions after her talk ranged from the merit of "fuck buddies" to sex changes. Bright answered with ease and gave attention to the mental aspects of love, whether it comes from group sex or the "normal" relationship. "I am of the follow-your-heart school of sexuality," Bright declared. "To be able to figure out anything about yourself is really a blessing."