COLUMN: Institutionalized Cliques

From Jillian O'Connor's "You're Nothing But a Pack of Cards!," Spring '94 From Jillian O'Connor's "You're Nothing But a Pack of Cards!," Spring '94It is getting harder and harder to tolerate the ignorance -- the ignorance of those who know absolutely nothing about the Greek system, and yet vehemently bash it. When else in your college career can you be stopped at the door for leaving a place with a cookie? Of course, this practice is a necessary Panhel precaution. Eating that cookie outside would obviously increase your chances of being most favorably disposed toward the sorority that provided you with it. Once on the inside track you realize the real fun starts when you finally attain that desired proto-membership in said fraternity or sorority. The one you and many had been planning on pledging because you heard it was "the best." But what does "the best" mean, you ask, O Naive Non-Greek? Why, naturally, it means that you will be allowed to easily mix your way into university social standing, be given a list of other people duly determined to be as cool as yourself and drop all of those annoying freshman roommates and others whom you just can't stand associating with any longer! (Although, of course, you did sign a housing contract with that roommate for the next year. Funny how things change...) Scoffing males and females alike have also not had that pleasure of a Hell Night in which (in many cases) they may be variously humiliated by sadistic members. Yes, acceptance of personal humiliation is the proven key to true unity, and also a useful tool toward the development of an intelligent student's sense of worth and self-respect. When you're a full member, you are entitled to live in the group's house. In the case of a sorority, this means that you may have no alcohol or men on the premises. (These rules do not exist for fraternities.) But it's OK that sororities can't have alcohol in their houses... they only do it because they don't support alcohol abuse, anyway. No, there's absolutely no connection to Blue Law backwash from the days when "ladies didn't drink." After all, these are the University's Twenty-First Century Women. Uninformed critics must understand that the fundamental selling point of these groups, however, is peddling new University students a dream. No need to establish a niche of your own here in college, their international corporation'll take care of that, all for the low, low cost of about eight hundred dollars a year! No, at college you shouldn't be wasting your time in the early years saddled with your own friendship decisions ... let them do it! They'll make you popular! In one of thirty ways! Yes, instead of being typecast individually in your years as underclassmen, you can pick from more than thirty stereotypes! (Sorry, females only get to choose from a selection of nine) The dream? Being acknowledged as an accomplished individual for having had a few successful conversations, and of course having paid dues on time. You are now the genotype of your desired role. Even within your desired organization, they'll find someone of whom you can be the shadow. Aren't you happy now? And so well on your way to self-discovery, too! Yes, imagine how horrible a place this university would be if no one could attach themselves to these special groups and actually had to be judged for their character, or even membership in a group that achieved something beyond harmony within the organization itself. Wouldn't that be a frightening scenario? Then we might even have to judge people's importance here as contributors to the University community, and not just as people of arbitrary social distinction. But only from the inside is it possible to gain a true and fair knowledge of this system. Sitting on the outside and sneering really only reinforces stereotyping: how can a non-Greek possibly accuse this system of stereotyping without employing stereotypes? The truest examples of the excellence of this fine system are its reasons for existing. Who can knock a system that indoctrinates relatively intelligent freshmen into a conservative system of snobbery from within, gives them new friends to explore increased social outlets with, and all for a such a low price? Nothing like institutionalized cliques to keep up a university's vigorous intellectual climate. So experience it if you wish to critique with authority. Jillian O'Connor is a senior English major from Boston, Massachusetts. You're Nothing But a Pack of Cards! appears alternate Mondays.