This past Saturday, just before the start of Penn’s first home Varsity football game, two members of the Penn cheerleading squad “[made] a statement,” according to a photo tweeted out by the Penn athletics department.

I believe in God. I’m almost hesitant to start with that, because I know immediately many people will write me off.

I dread waiting for the elevator in Penn’s high rise buildings almost as much as I dread the actual elevator ride itself. I dread standing in the awkwardly clustered group of people waiting for the elevators, all of whom make sure to maintain a certain distance from everyone around them and constantly look downward, faces buried in their phones.

Last Thursday, the two worst preachers in America showed up on Penn campus. As far as I could tell, they failed to convert a single student to the word of the lord.

To commemorate last week’s anniversary of September 11th, members of Occidental College’s Republican Club planted 2,997 American flags — one for each victim of the attack — on their campus green, all of which were later removed by student protesters.

Midterms loom, recruiting rages on. Winter cannot be far behind. Having been away from Penn for the last two years, I naturally couldn’t wait to get back and live the good life.

GROUP THINK is the DP’s round table section, where we throw a question at the columnists and see what answers stick.

Opioid dependency – and subsequent heroin addiction – has skyrocketed over the last 15 years.

Two weeks ago The Daily Pennsylvanian highlighted a claim in a recent Senate Committee report that there is a gender wage gap at Penn.

You may not have heard about this, but OZ sent a sleazy email which got leaked. Just kidding. Unless you live under a rock, you know about what I’m now calling #OzGate. Personally, I have mixed feelings about how campus has reacted to the exposure of the crude poem. Let me be clear, I have little interest in defending the email itself. The sentiments expressed in the lines of truly terrible poetry indicate some attitudes I find deeply troubling.

Over the summer, Penn introduced a major tweak to its Early Decision application process that prevents students from applying Early Decision to Penn and Early Action to another private university.

I’ve never doubted who I was. Asian, White, Mixed, Girl, Young—any of these could apply, but none of these mattered.

I call myself a writer, but I haven’t published anything in the three years I’ve been at this university.

I was arguably a better writer after four years of high school than I am now, after four years of some of the most expensive postsecondary education that money can buy.

GROUP THINK is the DP’s round table section, where we throw a question at the columnists and see what answers stick.

During last semester's Reading Days, my sister came to see me, and we decided to take a weekend trip to New York.

It’s official — the College Houses have out-TV’d my dad. As reported in a DP news article by Ray Pomponio, starting this year College House residents will get Comcast’s Xfinity On Demand streaming service included in the ever-increasing price of rent. Even my tech-happy father, who has enthusiastically upgraded our “home theater” infrastructure every few years since my birth, hasn’t quite sprung for that yet. While I am sure that College House residents will appreciate the service, I have to confess that it seems to me an extravagance.