For the second year in a row, Penn gymnast Marissa Rosen will miss out on Spring Fling. Believe it or not, she has somewhere better to be. Tomorrow, Rosen will represent the Quakers at the NCAA Northeast Regionals at Penn State. Her qualifying score of 38.

Last year, the Penn women's lacrosse team beat Dartmouth for the first time in exactly 16 years. This year, as the No. 6 Quakers (9-1, 4-0 Ivy) try to win in Hanover, N.H. tomorrow for the first time since April 9, 1988, the stakes aren't quite as high as last year when the teams were first and third in the standings.

The Quakers are three and a half games back of Gehrig Division-leading Columbia, with 12 conference games to go. They have as good a chance as they could ask for to shoot up the standings when Cornell visits Meiklejohn Stadium this weekend for four of those contests.

Mike Blodgett may be a junior, but thanks to the Princeton Invitational, he has never had a chance to attend Penn's signature party. "This tournament always falls on Spring Fling," he said. "I've never experienced what it's all about, but I don't regret it.

By the time Ludacris takes the Franklin Field stage tonight, the Penn men's tennis team hopes to have taken the Number One Spot in the Ivy League. The Quakers can do so today by going into Boston and defeating Harvard, which is perched atop the Ivy League (10-6, 2-0 Ivy).

Freshman Jess Lupardus has an interesting explanation for her success from the pitcher's circle. The Birmingham, Ala. native grew up with her single mother, who played volleyball at the University of Alabama. Her father died from heart failure after a triple bypass surgery when she was only a year old.

Collegiate men's lacrosse games last 60 minutes. Too bad for the Quakers, who may be lobbying for a rule change after yet another second-half collapse. Tuesday night at Princeton, Penn went into halftime within shooting distance of the Tigers, down a respectable 6-4.

Just one week after the Penn softball team swept La Salle, winning game two in walk-off fashion, it's getting a taste of its own medicine. Yesterday, the Quakers were on the losing end of a walk-off - twice - as Temple topped them 3-2 and 4-3 on the north side of Philadelphia.

If, as Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine so eloquently put it over a decade ago, chicks dig the long ball, then the Penn baseball team will be going stag this spring. The Quakers have struggled in the power department, making runs hard to come by despite several players batting well over .

AComm loses staff, office; lies still remain After two members of its staff were given pink slips, Athletic Communications is moving to the shit-spewing shack behind Warren Field. Catcher Mike Mahoney was designated for assignment by the Chicago Cubs. And golf contact Parisa Bastani was let go one day after asking the DP for golf coach Francis Vaughn's number, and two days after insisting that officemat Chas was actually Sam.

Coaches to launch new course in Fall '08 If you didn't pre-register for fall classes, don't worry: the newest course wasn't even in the system yet. Several Penn coaches will team up to teach Coachspeak, listed as English 057, in the upcoming fall semester.

NEW YORK (CITY) - When Pat Knapp left Georgetown five years ago to set up shop with the Penn women's basketball program, he gave up any shot of coaching on the floor of Madison Square Garden in the Big East Tournament. But yesterday he got a chance to return to the once-hallowed (and now desecrated) floor in a different capacity.

Steroids' hulking shadow now looms over the Ivy League. The long-awaited Bilsky Report, launched by Penn Athetic Director Steve Bilsky, was released yesterday, naming almost 50 Penn athletes with ties to performance-enhancing drugs. Notable athletes on the report were second baseman Steve Gable, whose batting average has jumped 250 points this season; women's hoops' 6-foot-2 forward Maggie Burgess, who grew eight inches in the week prior to the Quakers' season opener; and gymnast Marissa Rosen, who once beat Mark Zoller in an arm-wrestling match.

This was where David Whitehurst was meant to be. The former Penn basketball player, who has not played in two years due to academic ineligibility, was a starter on an NCAA Tournament team, scored 15 points on national television against Duke in 2005 and was the Quakers' best athlete.

Craig Robinson has a lot of work to do to turn around an Oregon State basketball program that went 0-18 in the Pac-10 this year. But Robinson will get to help run another - slightly less-boring - team this year. With Robinson's brother-in-law Barack Obama still needing to answer questions about whether he's "black enough," he selected Robinson to be his 2008 running mate.

When the Quakers emerged from the locker room last Thursday and trotted onto Franklin Field for another evening of spring football practice, they did so without their helmets and shoulder pads. The team usually dons those before it hits the turf, even in the spring.

They say that the best things in life are free. But you don't have to tell the Penn baseball team that. After sweeping Harvard yesterday in a road doubleheader that saw seven errors, three walks and three hit batsmen by the Crimson, it's a truism that the Quakers keenly appreciate.