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Saturday, May 2, 2026
The Daily Pennsylvanian

38th and Spruce Street Intersection

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I am a junior with too many friends who are graduating. Thus, I have become infected with second-hand senioritis. I work less, drink more, update my resume every week and go to Greek Lady every day to savor the "memories" of my beloved Italian hoagie. For the next month, college senioritis will be epidemic.


















This article appeared in the 2006 joke issue Talk about a dramatic turn of events. On Jan. 7, 2005, Irina Malinovskaya was just your average fifth-year Wharton senior from Russia. The next day, she was an accused bludgeoness. Malinovskaya, 23, was charged with beating her ex-boyfriend's girlfriend to death with a blunt object.