*This story appeared in the 2011 Joke Issue.
In the first of what will now be the NCAA’s top annual honor, women’s basketball freshman Alyssa Baron added another trophy to her already-full case: the Greg Jennings PutDaTeamOnMyBack award.
The honor recognizes the athlete who most demonstrates “One’s will to carry the team and not let any obstacle come in between, to go and get that green — if u know what I mean," as voted by a one-member committee consisting of YouTube user demetryjames86.
Baron put da team on her back throughout the season, particularly in a 38-point outburst at Harvard, one of the most best defenses in Ivy League history.
“But dawg, earlier ’do, the girl had broke her f*ckin’ leg,” coach Mike McLaughlin said in a post-game press conference.
With 10 seconds remaining, Baron needed just one bucket to set Penn’s single-game freshman scoring record.
Les’ go inside the mind of an Alyssa Baron: “Dawg, I gotta do this sh*t … fo’ WHoops!
Oh sh*t, Emma Markley!!!! One of da mos’ hardest hittin’ shot blockahs in Da League.
“BUT, I put da team on my back, ’do. F*ck it! You can’t stop me! Drive da lane, THROWDOWN … Alllyssssaaa Baaaaron. 84-88, man. F*CK YOU, CRIMSON!”
