*This story appeared in the 2011 Joke Issue.
All residents of Harnwell College House will have to evacuate by Friday due to structural damage to the building, Facilities and Real Estate Services announced Monday night.
“It has come to our attention that a large crack has formed in the west side of Harnwell,” executive director of College Houses and Academic Services Martin Redman said. “An extensive analysis estimated the building is structurally flawed, which could compromise residents’ safety within the next seven days.”
Six hundred cots have been set up in the basements of 1920 Commons, Sansom Place East and The Left Bank apartments at 31st and Walnut streetsÂ, where Harnwell residents will stay indefinitely, he added. Sleeping bags will be provided for 200 more residents on a first-come, first-serve basis.
Concrete, the primary material used to build the high rises, shrinks over time as water evaporates, which adds tension to the material and can cause it to crack, University Architect David Hollenberg said. The evaporation process was likely accelerated by the high-speed winds of the notorious “wind tunnel.”
Harrison and Rodin college houses are currently under investigation for similar structural problems.
The high rises were meant to be a temporary solution to a housing shortage on campus when they were constructed in 1969, Vice President of Facilities and Real Estate Services Anne Papageorge said.
“The safety of the students is our primary concern,” Penn President Amy Gutmann said. “I once had to stay in the University City Sheraton for two nights ... I think the students will be able to deal with the temporary housing situation.”
Students had mixed reactions to the announcement.
“My parents own a certain multimillion dollar international hotel chain, so I’ll just stay there,” Wharton and Engineering sophomore Fitzwilliam Rittenhouse said. “I’ve already scheduled a moving service so that I don’t strain myself lifting my HDTV. I want time to fly.”
“After freshman year, I planned to avoid 1920 Commons for the rest of my life, and now I have to live there,” Nursing junior Sophie Croff said. “I’ve also heard the basement is, like, 100 degrees and full of rats.”
