Crossing barriers in dating

The other. He's the guy her parents warned her about, the guy they didn't want her to date. After all, she's Taiwanese -- and he's not. This problem encountered by Engineering senior Julia Lee -- the issue of interracial dating -- was the very topic that last night's discussion on "Dating 'the Other'" tackled. Sponsored by Penn's multiethnic and multiracial student group Check One with nine other campus organizations, the panel brought together eight student leaders, who began by introducing themselves and their diverse backgrounds. And diverse they were. An Asian-American woman, a white Jew, a mixed white-Native American and black Wharton sophomore, a Pakistani international student and a gay Latino male were among those represented. And the opinions on the hot topic were just as diverse, with a number of attendees raising issues both for and against interracial dating. Take Wharton sophomore and United Minorities Council member Sabrina Austin, who noted her distaste with black men dating white women. "Black men will often date white women because they want a trophy wife," she said. "Often they will dump a wonderful black woman just so they can raise their status by marrying someone who's white." But others attributed interracial dating not to a desire for social status, but rather to the lack of diversity in the United States. "Where I grew up, the fish in the sea were not very diverse," Lee said, explaining her lack of Taiwanese partners. Lee is currently the chairwoman of the Asian Pacific Student Coalition. "I was one of two Asian people in my class and I have only ever dated white men, although this was not by conscious choice." Audience member and College senior Eugena Oh agreed that interracial dating must be viewed from a variety of contexts. "When considering the fetishism of Asian women in American society and the fact that dating a white woman is seen as a status symbol for many minority males, you can see that certain types of interracial dating are more acceptable than others," she said. Some students also felt that some cultures are more accepting than others, as many audience members of mixed race expressed contentment with their varying ethnic identities. But for those who did encounter problems, the problems weren't just limited to ethnicity, as religious discrimination also abounded. Queer Student Alliance member Carlos Sanchez, who once dated a Jewish man, found himself the target of religious discrimination. "His friends were very angry at the fact that I was Latino and not Jewish," Sanchez said. And his boyfriend's friends were not the only ones who considered religious preference a prerequisite for dating. So did Intervarsity Christian Fellowship member Jessica Rodriguez. "Although the word 'intolerance' has negative connotations, I will not accept someone who is not Christian," she said. Rodriguez concluded in the end, however, that discrimination in choosing who you date is important. "Whatever is important to you is what you should look for," she said. "The person who you are with ultimately reflects who you are." But while most audience members were in favor of dating "the other," they were still happy to hear opinions different from their own. "This event opened up a lot of dialogue and brought a lot of tensions to the surface," Engineering junior Lydia Dowlath said. "We are very pleased with the event," Check One President Heather Holmes added. "There was a great turnout and excellent audience participation. Many issues were brought up that aren't usually discussed, and we are very glad to provide this type of forum to Penn." Check One is an organization that seeks to increase community awareness of issues concerning mixed heritage in an increasingly multicultural society.