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Hamilton College House is shown above during a thunderstorm last summer. Penn will begin demolishing the dormitory in May. [Langien "Military" Karpouie/The Daily Pennsylvanian]

*This article appeared in the 4/1/02 Joke Issue* Following the discovery of serious structural flaws in Hamilton College House, the University will demolish the dormitory this summer, officials said last night.

The demolition will pave the way for a new 24-story high rise that will begin construction in January and is scheduled for completion in 2006.

Although the University Board of Trustees had approved a $26.5 million renovation at its meeting in February, Vice President for Facilities Services and Real Estate Services Omar Blaik said that when a team of engineers and inspectors began investigating the building last month, the team determined the cost of renovations would far exceed this figure.

"We budgeted for a building that we thought was structurally sound," Blaik said. "But the team determined that this was not true.

"Among other problems, a fissure has begun developing in the concrete between floors 11 and 15 of the high rise. At first, we did not see a problem, but then we went in and we saw a problem."

Blaik said that while the defects posed no "immediate risk" to public safety, within 10 years the building will be uninhabitable.

Because of safety concerns surrounding the demolition site, officials said that no student housing would be available in either of the two remaining high rises this summer.

"When you demolish a structure as large as Hamilton, it creates an environment where it just doesn't make sense for people to be living," said David Brownlee, outgoing College Houses and Academic Services director and lover of Quadrangle architecture. "The dust, the debris -- it's just very dangerous."

Instead, Brownlee said, all students and other visitors to campus this summer will be housed in Hill College House and Kings Court English College House.

Brownlee acknowledged that space would be cramped -- administrators are already looking into the possibility of fitting three people per room in Hill -- but that such closeness would help reinforce the sense of community that the college house system seeks to create.

"I mean frankly, as many people have said, the high rises are just too big for the traditional college house definition," Brownlee said. "When you have three people sharing a room the size of a 1967 Volkswagon Beetle, they really have to develop that warm, happy, loving, academic and ultra-dorky environment that we're looking for."

Gutting of Hamilton will begin after students have left in May, and current estimates have August 15 scheduled as the day the remaining structure will be demolished by explosives. Blaik said the University will employ crews to work around-the-clock to make sure the project can be completed over the summer.

Construction will begin on the new high rise sometime next fall, after the last of the debris has been cleared from the site.

To avoid confusion, the new dormitory will be called Harrington College House.

While the University has just begun the design phase of the new building and does not expect to have final plans ready until September, University President Judith Rodin said the new dormitory will be "state of the art."

"Obviously, the current high rises are very dated, very 1960s- style," Rodin said. "The new buildings will be much more reflective of 21st century college life. And this time we'll try to make the exteriors not look like projects."

Rodin herself has a direct interest in the living conditions of the new building. She plans to give up her residence in Bryn Mawr in favor of a penthouse appartment occupying the top two floors of the high rise.

"I want to be above it all," Rodin said. "My office is on the first floor of College Hall. My suburban house is at street level. None of this gives me the commanding position that I need. I'm the president of this university, not some mere peon!"

There are no current plans to demolish the two other high rises, and administrators say they do not anticipate having to do so.

In other news, History professor Thomas Childers has accused both Blaik and Brownlee of plagiarizing sections of the new high rises proposal from Childers' book The Wings of Morning

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