Julie comes from a family where not being "waspy" is seen as different.
But soon after arriving on campus as a freshman, she surprised herself by dating a black man. The responses of her friends and some members of the Penn community, however, were less than thrilling.
She was never completely comfortable holding his hand on campus, trying to avoid stares that might come as they strolled down Locust Walk.
And occasionally, some of her closest friends joked that she had "jungle fever" and "liked chocolate."
And now, several boyfriends and three years of dating at Penn later, the white College senior believes that she would not actively pursue an interracial relationship again.
"After seven months or so, I ultimately realized it was something I was not mature enough to handle," Julie said.
"People at Penn are not open-minded enough to accept interracial couples," she added. "Whereas one can laugh comments off, they definitely made me more aware and self-conscious of my partner being another race."
Of course, most Penn students who have dated outside their race have not faced such glaring opposition.
"I personally feel the pressure to be [politically correct] all of the time," College sophomore Angelika Zilberman said. "Because of that pressure, I find that interracial dating is widely accepted here. Of course, many times it'll draw a double-take, but on the whole, I think that Penn students are supportive of it."
But the occasional sideways glance on Locust Walk and the unintentional offensive joke over lunch -- not to mention what many students cite as the tendency of the Penn community to self-segregate -- all indicate that a slight undercurrent of hostility toward interracial dating remains on campus.
Mike, a white Wharton senior, has been dating a black woman for five years and has not seen outward disapproval among peers, saying that people at Penn haven't responded either positively or negatively.
"The ones that care keep their mouths shut, I suppose," Mike said.
Omar, a sophomore in the College who is part North African and part white, is dating a black woman and has found Penn relatively open to interracial relationships. For him, there hasn't been a noticeable negative response from other students. But occasionally, when the two go downtown together, they find themselves the objects of many people's stares.
"Penn's campus is more receptive, probably because prejudice is much less prevalent among people who are more educated," Omar said.
Amira, a College senior, has found that social groups play a large part in who people choose to date.
She attended a very "waspy" high school where she dated Erik, a white man, for many years. When the two of them came to Penn, Amira, who is Indian, didn't notice any stares. But she did note that Erik often remarked on Indian males giving him dirty looks when the two held hands while walking across campus.
Amira has dated several more white men at Penn since her relationship with Erik ended, and has experienced a handful of situations that have made her uncomfortable.
"People seem to find an interracial couple such a novelty," Amira said. "I mean, you don't, and the person you are dating usually doesn't, but everyone else always makes a big deal out of it, and there are a lot of funny looks."
While most students say Penn's campus is not a hostile environment for interracial couples, the issues surrounding multicultural dating are somewhat taboo.
Discussions of cultural differences, parental approval and social opposition are difficult for many students to openly discuss.
"I generally feel that Penn is pretty open to interracial dating, but maybe because it's an issue that really has not been explored beyond a 'politically correct' level on this campus," said Jen Kwon, co-chairwoman of the United Minorities Council. "You most likely won't hear a Penn student say out loud, 'Black people and white people should not mix.' However, there are subtle ways that these sentiments manifest."
It is hard to deny that there are cultural norms that underlay and dictate many students' dating practices. For example, Kwon said that she has a male Asian friend who will not approach non-Asian females in hopes of "hooking up."
"He said that due to precedent set by the media and society, and even his personal experiences at Penn, he believes it is very unlikely that 'a white girl would go for an Asian guy,' which reaffirms the general trend of people tending to date within their own race," Kwon said. "Especially when seeking a long-term relationship."
Some students, however, have taken matters into their own hands. Each February around Valentine's Day, Check One, a student organization that seeks to educate the Penn community on political, social, cultural and identity issues pertaining to the multicultural, multiethnic and multiracial experience, holds an interracial dating forum with various panelists.
Because the two are often approached for information about the Check One forum and encounter questions about the subject at meetings and events, Christine Page-Lopez, United Minorities Council representative for Check One, and Check One President Tasnim Beg stress that interracial dating is still something that merits discussion.
"It's a forum that increases the awareness about the values and difficulties people who interracially date, or do not, encounter," Beg said. "Our goal is to raise the awareness of these issues so that the Penn community and beyond will be conscious of and receptive to such matters so that future generations will not have to justify their right to interracially date."
Most students agree that while it is beneficial to raise awareness of the fact that interracial dating is becoming increasingly acceptable, choosing a partner should remain a decision that is personal and natural, rather than contrived.
"Interracial dating is definitely a good thing and a means of cross-cultural understanding," Omar said. "But I don't think people should campaign for or actively strive to be in an interracial relationship."
Penn has been widely criticized by some students for being a racially and culturally self-segregated community, and many students feel that this -- not to mention the disparity in numbers between whites and non-whites on campus -- affects the frequency of dating between students of different ethnic backgrounds.
"The state of race relations on campus is not necessarily the best," Omar said. "For it to improve, there needs to be an increase in minorities admitted. With only 7 percent of the student body African American, it's difficult for interracial relationships to exist."
The mere numbers determine norms in other ways as well. For example, because the percentages of Asian and white students are much higher than those of black or Latino students, it is more common to see Asian-white couples than black-white couples. And many students said that because of this phenomenon, Asian-white couples seem to be more socially acceptable at Penn than other interracial couples.
"When we tend to see more of something, it stands out less," Beg said. "Some Penn students are from very homogenous backgrounds, and seeing different races interacting with one another can be out of the ordinary for them."
Social cliques on campus are often racially defined, so, for many students, interracial dating rarely occurs as they happen to spend more time with people of the same race.
"Students at Penn seem to like to stick to their own kind," Mike said.
For example, Samit, a Wharton junior, spends most of his time with other Indian students. His current and past girlfriends have all been Indian.
"Most of my friends are very biased toward dating other Indians," Samit said. "There are commonalities there, shared friends, shared interests. A lot of times if you are the same race it makes things easier."
And, outside of the Penn community, the high pressure that comes with meeting the parent of a significant other sometimes increases in magnitude if that parent is of another racial or ethnic background.
College is widely regarded as a crucial step toward independence from parental restrictions, but nevertheless, plenty of students still worry about family reactions to their new campus sweethearts -- and choosing a partner from a different ethnic background can sometimes cause family discord.
"I think it's safe to say that most people's parents have a tremendous impact on their lives," Beg said. "I think that there are many people who would not date outside their race because they know it would upset their parents."
There are some who will date outside their race, but will never tell their parents about it, hoping it won't get serious enough to precipitate a family encounter. This is the approach that Julie chose to take freshman year.
"Family is important to me," Julie said. "I did not introduce this man to my family as a boyfriend."
Mike said that while his immediate family has been supportive of his dating a black woman, his extended family has not accepted the relationship warmly.
"My grandfather has been against it, and has been pretty rude to [my girlfriend] on a couple occasions," he said. "Once in a while, I catch my family using derogatory language when referring to her. They think they're being funny."
Students who come from multiracial families have found interracial dating a much more comfortable experience.
Page-Lopez, because her mother is from Bolivia and father is from New York, is more open to the idea of having an interracial relationship herself.
And Omar's father is North African and his mother is white, so dating an African American was not much of an problem for him or his family.
"My parents are open to it, for obvious reasons," Omar said. "They went through the same experience."
But many students who date outside their race continue to face family opposition, no matter how allegedly open-minded some parents are.
Oliver Hadley, a black male who has dated several white women during his four years at Penn hasn't noticed much of a problem on campus, but says things can get difficult when it comes time to meet the parents.
"When you deal with families, it's always sort of a problem, regardless of how liberal some people claim to be," he said.
