COLUMN: Many happy return

From Mike Nadel's, "Give 'em Hell," Fall '96 From Mike Nadel's, "Give 'em Hell," Fall '96Houston Hall's 100thFrom Mike Nadel's, "Give 'em Hell," Fall '96Houston Hall's 100thbirthday celebrationFrom Mike Nadel's, "Give 'em Hell," Fall '96Houston Hall's 100thbirthday celebrationshould remind us thatFrom Mike Nadel's, "Give 'em Hell," Fall '96Houston Hall's 100thbirthday celebrationshould remind us thatthe nation's oldest From Mike Nadel's, "Give 'em Hell," Fall '96Houston Hall's 100thbirthday celebrationshould remind us thatthe nation's oldest student union is readyFrom Mike Nadel's, "Give 'em Hell," Fall '96Houston Hall's 100thbirthday celebrationshould remind us thatthe nation's oldest student union is readyfor retirement From Mike Nadel's, "Give 'em Hell," Fall '96Houston Hall's 100thbirthday celebrationshould remind us thatthe nation's oldest student union is readyfor retirement Today marks the 100th birthday of Houston Hall, the oldest student union in the nation. For those concerned about student life on this campus, however, there is little to celebrate. Houston Hall is to be the cornerstone of the new Perelman Quadrangle. Readers will recall that some years ago, Ronald Perelman, a University alumnus and Trustee and chairman of the Revlon Corporation, pledged millions of dollars for the construction of a new student center. The Revlon Center, as the project was dubbed, was supposed to be the best of the best –– a state-of-the-art facility, open 24 hours a day, with a new bookstore, performing arts space, meeting rooms, office space for activity groups, computer labs, restaurants. The Revlon Center was to be the envy of the Ivy League. Enter Judith Rodin and Stanley Chodorow. They had some old buildings that they badly needed to fix. As Chodorow said last week about Irvine Auditorium, "If anyone from Health and Safety walked in there, [the performing arts community] would be outta there in about 5 seconds." But the administration had no money to fix up the death trap. Their solution? Simple. Use Perelman's money for the renovations. Don't worry, they said; there will still be a new student center. All we have to do is put down some new rugs in Houston Hall, connect Logan Hall and Williams Hall with a glass atrium, and get Irvine to up to par with the fire code. Then we'll plant some grass, call it Perelman Quad, and presto –– a new student center. There's just one problem. Students are beginning to catch on. When the smoke clears from Houston Hall's birthday celebration, it will become clear exactly how dangerous the plans for Perelman Quad are for future generations of undergraduates. Houston Hall cannot be gutted and rebuilt from the inside. Instead, the provost says, the "space" will be "restored." Translation: A multi-million dollar makeover. But rather than being helped by this investment, students will be hurt. According to a memorandum regarding space allocation in Houston Hall under the Perelman Quad plan, only the Undergraduate Assembly will have an office in Houston Hall. Groups that currently have offices, such as Kite & Key, the Penn Band and SPEC will be relocated to "the appropriate type of space," defined as "locker, cubicle, or semi-private area." What exactly is a "semi-private" area? Is it part of a room? Is it a table at Bagel Builders? That remains unclear. The "locker" idea sounds promising. Perhaps student groups could actually have meetings in these lockers, like on You Can't Do That On Television. In any case, student groups will need to reapply in order to keep their cubicles at the end of each year. Graduate students feel shut out of the new student center. As Physics doctoral student Surya Ghosh told Chodorow, "The lives of graduate students don't enter Perelman Quad." Nor do the lives of undergraduates. The Credit Union won't be in Perelman Quad. There won't be centralized mail. There won't be any computer labs. There won't be a new performing arts shop. The buildings won't be open 24 hours. And, as we have been reminded over and over again during the Houston Hall Centennial celebration, whatever space is available will be more than 100 years old. Chodorow says he wants "a big crowd in there all the time." Don't worry; he has an explanation for how he will achieve this. When asked what will attract students to Perelman Quad, he replied, "It's going to have the best coffee on the campus." He was only half joking. Houston Hall will never meet the needs of undergraduates. No amount of redecorating and renaming can change that. Chodorow has a gift for understatement. "Perelman doesn't solve every problem," he said. In fact, the Perelman Quad plan compounds existing problems and creates new ones. Ronald Perelman has been taken for a ride –– a $20 million ride. He thought he was buying a first-rate building with his name on it. He's ending up with a third-rate renovation. When all is said and done, no one will even call it Perelman Quad, just like no one knows College Green as Blanche Levy Park -- aside from Judith Rodin. It doesn't have to be like this. It's still not too late for Perelman to tell Rodin and Chodorow to sack Perelman Quad and build a real student center, the Perelman Center –– a top-notch, free-standing structure in a convenient location. Perelman could take cues from any of our competitors. At Georgetown, for example, there is an enormous student center with a food court, a modern credit union, a commissary resembling a supermarket, two bars, two sit-down restaurants, a book store, a dining hall, theaters, ball rooms, meeting rooms and study space. This building serves an undergraduate population far smaller than our own. The Perelman Center could be even better. But instead, we are left with Houston Hall and its sad siblings –– unless Ronald Perelman can be persuaded to change his mind. Undergraduates should not sit quietly by while the University makes an irreversible mistake. Ronald Perelman's direct office telephone number is (212) 572-5060. Let's make him see what they are really doing with his money. Boston University President John Silber once said, "When you're old and you're ripe and you've lived a long life, then it's time to go." In the case of Houston Hall, nothing could be more true. Let's say, "Happy birthday," to Houston Hall. Then let's say, "Good night."