COLUMN: "He Said?"

From David Chun's "The World According To Dave," Fall '92From David Chun's "The World According To Dave," Fall '92Accompanied by Deb Lima's guest column, "?She Said." From David Chun's "The World According To Dave," Fall '92Accompanied by Deb Lima's guest column, "?She Said.""Varium et mutabile semper femina."From David Chun's "The World According To Dave," Fall '92Accompanied by Deb Lima's guest column, "?She Said.""Varium et mutabile semper femina.""A woman is always a fickle, unstable thing." · Why are so many women fickle, commitment-driven, flirtatious creatures? Women expect men to adore them like glass menagerie, but at the same time, they are busy demolishing our streetcar named desire. Some may have the face of Helen that launched a thousand ships, but is all that -- flirtation euphemistically called "friendliness" -- necessary? When a woman wears a provocative dress, men should wave their white flags in defeat. It's a no-win situation. If the man ignores the fact she is wearing a seductive outfit, he will be condemned for not noticing. On the other hand, if the man comments on the alluring outfit, he will be labeled a sexist. Also, there's this this fickleness with dressing. It takes a man on the average five to ten minutes to dress for an outing. Why does it take hours for a woman to find that pretty, provocative outfit? Finally, most men are born free. Therefore, it is difficult for us to commit ourselves so quickly. Why are so many women insistent on the "solemn promise" so hastily? Are women just born dependent? But contrary to some woman's belief, not all men are sex-driven Neanderthals. It is true that we have our share of Don Giovannis and Casanovas, but history is saturated with noble gentlemen of merit. In classic Shakespearean tradition, Marcus Antonius, after the defeat at Actium in 31 BC, committed suicide when he was falsely informed of Cleopatra's death. Hector Berlioz, a 17th century French Romantic composer, won the heart of an English Shakespearean actress Harriet Smithson by composing a five-movement symphony called the Symphonie Fantastique. His "idee fixe" of Harriet was the flame that consummated their love in matrimony. William Shakespeare, in the height of his passion, immortalized Ann Hathaway with some of his celebrated sonnets published in 1609. Shakespeare's passion for Ann is resurrected everytime the poem is uttered by lovers across the world. In 1797, Napoleon, during his ambitious rise to power, conquered Vienna in the name of his beloved Jos phine. Auguste Rodin, a 19th century French portrait sculptor, immortalized his picturesque mistress Camille Claudel with a bronze masterpiece passionately referred to as Camille. Finally, the ultimate sacrifice made by King Edward VIII of England on December 11, 1936. He abdicated the throne in the name of "true love" to marry an American commoner, Ms. Simpson. Contrary to popular belief, not all men are searching for a Christie Brinkley face with a Cindy Crawford body. William Shakespeare once wrote, "Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks, shall win my love." The ideal woman for us will not be a goddess with grace and charm of Aphrodite. It will be a modest young lady who would accompany us in a stroll through a gentle spring rain, charm us with humor, enchant us with innocence, inspire us with a divine breath, enlighten us in darkness, blind us with inner beauty and "kill us with kindness." It is the aspiration of all men to have such a woman illuminate our lives. However, is it too much to assume that all human beings, men and women, desire such an ideal companion? Dedication to the quest for this perfect prin-cess will be a lifetime endeavor. Just like a diamond, finding this flawless perfection will take patience and devotion. Unfortunately, not everyone will find Verdi's palpito dell'universo intero -- the heartbeat of the entire universe -- in their lifetimes. Nevertheless, the search must continue. Ultimately, Tarzan found Jane, Ron found Nancy, Harry found Sally, Fred found Wilma, and Sean Penn found Madonna?well, for a while anyway. It's the eternal longing for companionship that keeps the flames of passion of burning. Through differences, torment and delight, relationships are forged. Through love, life itself is rejuvenated. After all, the latin proverb "Omnia vincit amor" translates to "Love conquers all things." Now, does this sound like the viewpoint of a Neanderthal to you? David Chun is a junior Political Science and Psychology major from Miami, Florida. "The World According to Dave" appears alternate Thursdays.