EDITORIAL: "Gone With The Schwinn?"

What with so few University Council meetings in a year and so many committees to provide resolutions, you'd think President Hackney's advisory committee would have had something particularly substantive to discuss at yesterday's meeting. In reality, however, the University has evolved to such a level of perfection that the only issue available for much discussion was the subject of banning bikes on Locust Walk. Even with that, the meeting ended twenty minutes early. To fill up time, we half expected Council to pull out a projector and show those grade school Disney films with Jiminy Crickett and animated chalkboard drawings of Mr. Good Bike Driver and Mr. Bad Bike Driver. Maybe we're being a bit harsh. At least it looks like Council won't have as tough a time deciding whether to kick bikes off campus as they did trying to decide whether to kick ROTC off campus. But students, be warned. Hackney will probably accept a bicycle ban more quickly than he will accept an ROTC ouster. Furthermore, the University could quite easily set up and enforce fines similar to the swift-and-sure $50 dollar penalty that stopped people from jettisoning things out high rise windows. Banning bikes altogher, though, would be rather extreme. Good cyclists are not a terrible menace. What we really need is a way to cite reckless bike riders for their behavior, rather than banning two-wheelers all together. Of course, all of this wouldn't be necessary if cyclists as a whole showed some consideration. If all cyclists behaved, Council probably wouldn't recommend kicking them off the Walk -- kind of like fraternities. Perhaps some reminders of cycling etiquette are in order: · Don't, don't, don't lock bicycles to handicap access ramps and handrails. That's really tacky. Make the University happy too, and keep the kryptonite off trees and fences. · During "rush hours" on Locust Walk -- such as the ten minutes before ten o'clock classes -- ride down Spruce or Walnut instead. It'll be faster for you, and since people can't even pass each other on the Walk at these times, pedestrians are under no obligation to let a bicycle through. · Walk over the 38th Street bridge. Although at reasonable uphill and downhill speeds it's not really much of a danger to anyone, some people just can't resist the supposed "need for speed." Justice would be putting a speed bump on either side of the bridge to send would-be Tour de France racers into orbit, but liability insurers would probably frown on that. · At some intersections, bicyclists run the red light because there is never any cross traffic (east-west on Spruce and Walnut at 36th, 37th and 39th, for example). Fine. Whatever. We don't care, although Jiminy wouldn't be proud. But if pedestrians are trying to cross, remember they have the green and wait your turn. If you try to barrel through, you basically deserve to be shoved to the ground and left to die when the light changes. And a note to walkers: don't stand in the corner curb breaks that allow bikers to go from street to sidewalk. · Make some noise. Contrary to popular belief, pedestrians are able to walk in a straight line for short periods of time, provided they hear your bicycle coming. We're not suggesting your bike be a rusting, clattering collection of colliginous junk, but a Stealth Bike is like the theme music from "Jaws" -- by the time you hear it, you've already been maimed. Bells and imitation chrome horns with big red bulbs aren't much in style, but most bikes make a soft click-click-click if the chain and gears aren't over-oiled. If that's not enough, stick a Bicycle-brand playing card, an index card, or something slightly quieter between the spokes. Red-and-blue handlebar streamers are a bit more extravagant. · Consider wearing a helmet, especially in city traffic. That noggin' is what got you here in the first place.