Eric Obenzinger

Keeping student Social Security Numbers on file and using them for recruiting increases the risk of fraud.

By ERIC OBENZINGER - Guest Columnist Quaker Shaker, my column in The Daily Pennsylvanian, has come far this year. I wasn't quite sure what its legacy would be until you all named "Quaker Shaker" the best nickname for Penn's mascot in 34th Street's "Best of Penn" issue.

The Duke University campus has become a stomping ground since allegations of a rape emerged several weeks ago. On one front are the media, which have spent the past few weeks "standing on campus - until one tiny piece of news comes out. - It doesn't change anything," Duke senior Christian Kunkel said.

I am a junior with too many friends who are graduating. Thus, I have become infected with second-hand senioritis. I work less, drink more, update my resume every week and go to Greek Lady every day to savor the "memories" of my beloved Italian hoagie. For the next month, college senioritis will be epidemic.

Professors are inconsistent. If you are lucky, you have professors who make appropriate use of Web resources, assemble a reasonable reading list and are open to feedback. If you are me, your professors are unable use computers, assign entire books to be read in a two-day period, don't accept constructive criticism, struggle with their English and hate redheads like me.

This spring slump hit me hard. No matter how much I have tried to work, my attention span has disappeared faster than a Tabard lunch box. However, I have found the solution to the massive procrastination outbreak that peaks on campus around now: Stop doing stupid things on the Internet.

Moses, wielding the Ten Commandments and a bulldozer, is plowing over Palestine. Alicia and I chose Moses because he is a prophet similar to Muhammad. Both brought laws to their people, and both are highly revered. Our message is simple: Provocative statements are a cornerstone of free speech.

Some recitations are doomed to fail. Too often, it is because the teaching assistant barely speaks English. Penn has a distinct international flavor. If you're not from New Jersey or Long Island, there is a good chance that you are from halfway across the world.

This campus is brimming with hippies. Don't let the designer handbags and gaudy Greek rush events fool you. This campus is full of rabble-rousing, free-spirited law breakers willing to face-down the man. In fact, most of us are part of one of the nation's largest civil-disobedience movements.

He wanted us to make Jewish babies. I saw Ariel Sharon speak in June of 2004, at an assembly of people participating in the birthright Israel program, which gives free tours of Israel to young Jews. After a psychedelic drum show, we were surprised to see an enormous man walk onto the stage surrounded by four bodyguards.