Mathematically, at least, three of this weekend's four Ivy matchups have title implications. The one exception is Dartmouth at Princeton - but there's something even larger at stake. The Big Green (0-9, 0-6 Ivy) are on the verge of their first winless campaign since 1883.

On Tuesday, President Amy Gutmann and her husband donated $100,000 to fund undergraduate research. Surely this is more than a gesture in these troubled times, when even Harvard president Drew Faust issues ominous warnings that her school may "absorb unprecedented endowment losses" (30 percent!).

Trinity, Princeton, Yale and Harvard. Since 2005-06, the men's squash team's view has been unchanged: Above the Quakers, that elite quadrumvirate. Below, every other team in the nation. Penn - fifth-place finishers at the past two national championships - is tired of sitting on the outside looking in.

Penn's game against Drexel may have been featured on ESPN this week, but the Ivy League hasn't been turning any heads thus far: Ancient Eight squads have gone just 4-12 to open the men's basketball season. That said, they looked more than respectable against some quality opponents in their season openers.

The University has a bright idea for making off-campus apartments feel safer. The Division of Public Safety is working with the University to implement phase four of the University City Lighting Project, which involves collaborating with the area's landlords to add extra lighting outside apartments and in the areas around off-campus housing.

If midterms and finals are running wild in your mind, Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity wants you to relax and enjoy some comedy, while helping an important cause. The fraternity is bringing comedian Steven Hofstetter to campus this Sunday at 7 p.m. in Houston Hall.

The family that plays together stays together. Senior Joey Raho's loved ones are no different. "[My parents'] first date was a squash match," said Raho, whose older brother Nick also played for Cornell. Penn coach Craig Thorpe-Clark agreed. "Unlike maybe football, where only Dad and the boys could play, you know, squash is a whole family game," he said.

As 2008 slowly winds to a close, few Americans are optimistic about their year-end bonuses. But if you're a teacher in a Washington, D.C. public school, there may be good news. In the policy recently proposed by school district Chancellor Michelle Rhee, teachers could earn raises of up to $40,000 - in exchange for giving up tenure for a year.

According to a recently published book, Philadelphia has a glorious past and an uncertain future. However, there is potential for the city to reclaim its former glory. College and Design School alumnus Nathaniel Popkin examined both historic and present-day Philadelphia during the reading of his new book The Possible City: Exercises in Dreaming Philadelphia at the Penn Bookstore last night.

City Hall is throwing the book at Philadelphia's libraries. In order to bridge the city's gaping budget shortfall, Mayor Michael Nutter recently announced plans to close 11 public libraries across Philadelphia - including the historic Kingsessing Library on 51st Street.

The women's squash team has it all. After winning their first Ivy League title since 2000 and finishing second in the nation, the Quakers return with three All-Americans and plenty of confidence. "We are good, not to sound cocky," senior co-captain Emily Goodwin said.

Two Penn grads have been tapped to lead the biggest financial bailout plan in history. Assistant U.S. attorney and 1992 Penn alumnus Neil Barofsky appeared before the Senate last night after President George Bush nominated him as the special inspector general of the Treasury's Troubled Assets Relief Program.

When the South Street Bridge closes for reconstruction in December, traffic on the Schuylkill Expressway will worsen and fewer taxicabs will prowl the streets of University City. But on the bright side, results from an ongoing traffic study indicate that the bridge is mainly used for short trips between University City and Center City - so most of its traffic can be diverted to the Walnut or Chestnut Street bridges.

Penn President Amy Gutmann and her husband, Columbia law professor Michael Doyle, have made a $100,000 contribution toward undergraduate resources at Penn. The donation will be split between the Center for Undergraduate Research and Fellowships and the senior-class gift program.

Last season the women's basketball team only mustered 26 points in a 40 point rout by Villanova. In their home opener this year, the Quakers bounced back to nearly pull off a stunning upset. Instead, Sioban O'Connor hit a huge three-pointer with 36 seconds left to propel Villanova to a 45-43 victory.

This time next week, I'll unfortunately still be here at school. Don't get me wrong - I love being here. It's just that the next day is Thanksgiving, one of the few times during the year my family gets together anymore. But I have classes the day before Thanksgiving, thanks to the structure of our current fall semester calendar.