Assault March 18 - Jermaine Brown, 21, unaffiliated with the University and of the 3200 block of Defense Terrace, was arrested at about 11 p.m. for allegedly assaulting a woman, 21, unaffiliated with the University, on the 3600 block of Spruce Street. Burglary Mar.

Violent crime for the first two months of 2009 is slightly up compared to this time last year, but crimes against property and theft both show a significant decrease. The total number of crimes for the year to date is also down compared to January and February 2008, from 134 to 106.

This Hey Day, the Class of 2009 will greet the current juniors not with condiments but with a raised glass. The Senior- and Junior-Class Boards have established what they hope will become a new tradition with the "Final Toast," an event that aims to welcome the outgoing seniors into the alumni community while celebrating the incoming seniors at the same time.

Just one day after the men's basketball season ended, sophomore Harrison Gaines announced that he was transferring out of Penn at the end of the semester. The guard from Victorville, Calif., averaged 9.9 points per game this year, second on the team to Tyler Bernardini's 13.

Students now have a reason - besides the return of fried Oreos and Mask & Wig's Saturday afternoon performance, of course - to start getting excited about this year's Spring Fling. Guster and Akon, SPEC's two selections for Spring Fling, are not only both known by fans of their respective genres but marque names worthy of a major concert.

Penn is on the road to better bicycle safety. The Division of Public Safety hosted a kickoff event yesterday for its "Share-the-Road" campaign, designed to teach the public basic bike-safety practices and laws. "It's an educational campaign," Capt. Joseph Fischer of the Penn Police said.

There's gold in them there art museums - but please don't tell the University trustees. As endowments shrivel and budgets tighten, Penn is no doubt looking for ways to make ends meet. But, let's hope they're not eyeing our veritable treasure trove of art, rare books and artifacts as a solution.

The gloves came off between Penn and Temple University last night in a college stand-up comedy competition. A few minutes after 8 p.m., RooftopComedy - a company that records, produces and distributes live comedy performances - presented comedian David Scott to host their second annual college tour at Helium Comedy Club.

Janice Dow is a College sophomore from Los Angeles. Her e-mail address is dow@dailypennsylvanian.com.

During spring break, a dozen graduate students in the School of Design went to China to preserve history. Currently in its second year, professor Randall Mason's HSPV 621 - Seminar in International Conservation - is a semester-long course in Penn's graduate program in historic preservation.

With all the insanity going on in the world right now, it's pretty easy to blame the president. Not much has been going right for him since the inauguration. He hasn't yet fulfilled many of his campaign promises (Where's the dog, Mr. President? You promised!), and it appears that the post-coital glow with our commander in chief is wearing off.

When softball meets Lehigh tomorrow in a doubleheader at Warren Field, the Mountain Hawks will be the third set of predatory birds that the Quakers have met in seven days. Each time, Penn has come out looking more like the prey. After two humbling losses in the Quakers' home opener against the Saint Joseph's Hawks, 4-1 and 10-0, the young Penn team dropped two razor thin losses to the Monmouth Hawks, both by the score of 1-0.

G. Edward DeSeve, senior lecturer at Penn's Fels School of Government, will manage the distribution of the $787 billion in federal stimulus funds in a new high-level advisory role. The White House announced his appointment yesterday as senior advisor to the Office of Management and Budget for Recovery Act Implementation, special advisor to President Barack Obama and assistant to Vice President Joe Biden.

Architecture job prospects seem to be stuck in the rubble of the current economy. Though the architecture market has seen "phenomenal growth" in the past 10 years, the economy is "a depressing concern," especially for those finishing graduate school this year, said associate director of Career Services Rachel Burk.

Quoting Beyonce, Nursing and Wharton sophomore and Undergraduate Assembly volunteer member G.J. Melendez-Torres implored the University to "finally put a ring on its commitment to gender and ethnic minorities." His request was met with a standing ovation, as student leaders packed Sunday's UA meeting to discuss a series of proposals targeting the status and support of minorities on campus.

Student government on campus began making progress toward increased minority representation 13 years ago when the United Minorities Council lobbied for a seat on the University Council advisory body. Three years of heated debate later, the UMC was granted its wish in the form of a permanent seat on the University Council.