Freshmen, please take note. In the excitement of meeting your new best friends this fall, you are bound to reach a point when the topic of next year’s housing comes up.
Some evening you’ll all meet and make a pact to stay together forever, like a scene out of the last episode of Boy Meets World. There might even be a group pinky swear.
But no matter how many promises are made or how many handshakes you seal the deal with, take my advice: Get it in writing. Then once you have it, find a notary public and make it legit.
Why? Because there’s nothing worse than finding out your future roommates have all backed out and are living in a frat house next year.
Am I bitter? Not anymore, and I won’t even name any names.
When you’re left without a plan for housing for the next year, your options diminish. Before you can say, “Where the hell is Sansom West?” it’s September, and you’re moving into the Quad again for a second year.
You can rationalize this purgatory all you want. Some excuses include: “Sweet, I can still get McClelland for lunch”; “At least I’m close to all my classes"; “But the Quad is so beautiful!” And my favorite: “Now I can mack on all the freshman biddies.”
But no, these justifications don’t work. To steal a line from Bill Murray in the 1979 classic Meatballs, “It just doesn’t matter.” The cons far outweigh the pros.
First, it’s just embarrassing. Without fail, the one question out of everyone’s mouth in September is “Where are you living this year?” There’s no easy response. You try to preface it and give it a long back-story. But in the end, it is just a sad, sad answer.
Second, the freshmen on your hall think you’re weird. You don’t want to hang out with them, and they don’t want to hang out with you.
Third, you still need to wear flip-flops in the shower. No 20-year-old man should have to do this.
I’m miserable, but I’ll make it through the year. After all, a dorm is only a place to sleep, and I am making the best of a bad situation. Plus, Bon Appetit does sell a mean autumn turkey salad this year at McClelland.
As you prepare to make plans for the future, take a lesson and get your housing plans together now.
