Can you sense it? The warm breeze, the fresh air and the mini skirts all tell me spring is here. Soon tiny girls will sport sunglasses much larger than their shorts and the shirtless guys will play sand volleyball once again.
We'll lazily lounge on the grass soaking up the glorious sun, exerting ourselves only to roll over and toast our other side. Eye candy galore!
"It's spring fever . You don't quite know what you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so." Mark Twain was on the right track with that quote, but I'd like to make a small correction.
As the thermometer rises, many of us students do know what we want, and it's causing sensations in more than just our hearts, if you catch my drift. Here at Penn, with spring comes horny college students, or at least hornier than usual.
But alas, all is not fun and fornication. Love is in the air . it's time to get tested for STDs. I know taking a break from sexual, drunken playtime is probably not on top of your to-do list. I know that urine samples and pelvic exams (shudder) are no fun. But do you know what else is no fun? Gonorrhea, that's what!
We all know that the surest way to remain STD free is abstinence . hmm . abstinence . a little late for many of us by now. Having not taken a vow of chastity, I concluded that the only way to write this article honorably was for me to suck it up and get myself tested.
I embarked on the long walk to student health to take part in one of the few experiences that unites all women, the pelvic exam (shudder). Thus began Em's trip to the gyno! Shall we? No details, promise.
After getting lost and whispering apologetically to a security guard that I needed directions, I arrived at Women's Health. I walked in feeling a little ashamed. After all, I was going to get tested for STDs. Just imagine what my grandfather would think (Oh crap, he's probably going to read this. )!
However, contrary to my expectations, the doorway does not resemble the gates of hell and the hallway is not lined with judgmental eyes. In fact, I realized that I was surrounded by ordinary women like myself. I didn't stick out among a sea of prostitutes. No one was judging me.
While waiting there, enjoying the fantastic assortment of reading material, I had an epiphany. I should be proud to walk into the Women's Health Center. I'm taking care of myself. I was no longer ashamed of being there, but that I had not been there before.
The actual testing was very quick and painless. And although it will never be a pleasant experience, it's really nothing to shudder about. After bolstering my self esteem by praising my healthy cervix, nurse practitioner Joyce McNeill and I got to chit-chatting.
According to McNeill, STD testing is even easier for men (what else is new) who merely have to pee in cup. Answers are only a phone call away no matter what crazy disease you think you have. However, McNeill said the real problem is that "men usually don't have any clue that they have an STD like herpes, but they can still transmit the virus."
After the delightful banter with McNeill I left the Women's Health Center, hoping NOT to hear from her in two weeks.
Later that afternoon, curiosity got the better of me and I made a survey about sex and STDs and sent it to everyone I know (sorry to everyone I know). Out of the 113 people who took it, only 34 percent were tested for STDs within the last year although 86 percent were sexually active.
At first I was puzzled about how this could be, but then I remembered my initial embarrassment at Women's' Health. The real trouble with STDs is the stigma attached to them. We're needlessly ashamed to get tested.
SEX . it happens, get used to it. It's part of life that we need to take responsibility for. We need to stop ignoring the risks even if it's easier to pretend you're still completely innocent. Daddy's little girl and Mommy's little gentlemen can get herpes, too.
So go, ye masses of randy students! Get tested, ask your partners if they have been and for God's sake wear a condom! I know stirrups are awkward and no one likes to kill the vibe with those damn hard-to-open wrappers. But do you know what else kills the vibe? Gonorrhea, that's what!
Emily Garrett is a College sophomore from Waukon, Iowa. Her e-mail address is garrett@dailypennsylvanian.com . Carpe Di-Em appears on Tuesdays.
