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Friday, April 10, 2026
The Daily Pennsylvanian

When showing affection takes second thought

When showing affection takes second thought

While Penn's campus may be more gay-friendly than other parts of the country, tolerance of public displays of affection between same-sex couples may be for the wrong reasons.

A New York Times article published Sunday examined the taboo of same-sex intimacy in public, raising the question of how Penn students react to such situations.

And, according to several gay students at Penn, while people on campus and in Philadelphia are generally accepting of public displays of affection, they are far less tolerated between gay men than between gay women.

Lesbian couples appear to find a greater acceptance of showing affection on campus, but it often stems from the male heterosexual interest in seeing two women being intimate with each other.

"I've been in a few situations, dancing with girls at bars, and a lot of drunk guys will come up and say, 'Oh my God, are you guys lesbians? Can we watch?'" said College senior Alexis Ruby Howe.

"Lesbianism has a history of being in pornography, where straight men are the spectators," said Katherine Sender, a professor at the Annenberg School for Communication who studies gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender media and marketing.

She said straight men fantasize about "jumping in," ignorant that lesbian couples have no interest in them.

Stories from other Penn students about lesbian couples support this.

"I've seen two girls kissing, and some guys were egging them on," said Engineering junior Keith Mangam. He added that onlookers argued that the girls were not lesbians but were only seeking attention.

College junior Cynthia Wright said that she and her girlfriend would not be "bashed" for kissing in public, "but people would talk."

The uproar resulting from a Snickers commercial that aired during the Super Bowl earlier this month, in which two men accidently kiss, has also raised public consciousness about displays of affection between same-sex couples.

Sender said the Snickers commercial was a "reworking of a very old joke," which ends with "a homophobic reaction and a reassertion of masculinity."

"Society is always reinforcing that guys can't be gay because they will be less of a man," said Mangam. "This commercial doesn't help that stereotype at all."

Mangam generally feels comfortable displaying affection on campus but added there are some social situation - such as fraternity parties - where he might feel hesitant to show affection to a male partner.

Wright said she has heard of instances of gay men who have shown affection in public being harassed in bars or while walking at night on Penn's campus.

Overall, however, many gay and lesbian students find Penn to be a generally accepting place.

"I've heard horror stories from other communities," Wright said, noting that Penn is very friendly to the LGBT community, and that "the city in general is conducive to our community."

Ruby Howe agreed that Penn is open towards same-sex couples.

"Penn has come so far in being a very open place for minorities; people are very able to express themselves," she said, noting that, when she is showing affection to a girlfriend, she can "see people staring. But it's like 1 in 100, compared to 1 in 10 other places."