Peter Fielding's roommate is spending the semester in Ireland, and he's keeping his pals back at Penn up-to-date on his escapades. He sends out periodic e-mails highlighting his adventures, addressed to a few of his closest friends.
Except Fielding.
"I was a little surprised," said Fielding, a College senior. "I'd like to attribute it to my roommate's absentmindedness, but it did make me wonder if it was a direct hit at me."
E-mail listservs are an easy way for Penn students studying abroad to keep in touch. Students simply write one e-mail, meticulously type in all their preferred correspondents, and hit send.
But what happens when some of their friends end up at the bottom of the list - or left off entirely?
The result is what experts are calling "cyberostracism," the very tangible feeling of being excluded even if the omission is a careless mistake.
"Even though e-mail has helped people stay in touch, it's a double-edged sword," Duke University psychology professor Mark Leary said. "There are now lots of new opportunities for students to feel rejected or humiliated in these Web-based avenues, something we call 'cyber-bullying.'"
But students detailing their studies at foreign universities - or drunken exploits around the world - for their friends back at Penn hardly have cyberostracism in mind.
"I looked on Facebook, picked out all my friends, and wrote them one e-mail," College senior Julie Lee said. Lee, who went abroad to Oxford last year, said her list totaled to about 70 people.
While Lee's friends may have been happy to be included in the listserve, experts say that where one falls on the list can contribute to feelings of rejection.
Kipling Williams, psychology professor at Purdue University and a forerunner in the field of cyberostracism, says that feeling included after appearing on a friend's listserv deflates if one's name is close to the bottom.
Yet appearing at the bottom may be a better option than not receiving an e-mail at all.
According to research published by Williams, being ostracized over the Internet causes the same negative feelings one senses when experiencing interpersonal rejection.
It makes sense, Williams concluded, for students' self-esteem and general disposition to worsen if they are left out, even if the ostracism occurs virtually.
Moreover, when communicating via e-mail, there's no way to quickly explain remarks that may be taken offensively.
"Cyberostracism lacks useful cues widely available to targets in face-to-face interaction," Williams said. "These clues help clarify the situation."
Perhaps students who keep their lists to a minimum number of friends and family have the right idea when it comes to preventing online feuding.
"A group of five roommates e-mail back and forth," Wharton junior Amanda Luskin said of her own system of keeping in touch with friends back at Penn. Luskin, who is currently spending the term in Madrid, said that hitting "reply all" to just a few people is far simpler than juggling an enormous list of contacts.
