While several things may come to mind when thinking about Wing Bowl 13, including beer and the 6 a.m. start time, only one word is really needed to describe the event:
Testosterone.
Friday morning's affair was more loaded with testosterone than an NFL locker room, and it showed in both the crowd and the contest itself.
First of all, it is no surprise that the Wing Bowl was started by two men, Angelo Cataldi and Al Morganti, for their morning radio show on 610 WIP-AM. Not too many women would come up with the idea of fat guys eating 160 wings in half an hour while strippers cheer them on.
But the testosterone was found mostly in the seats of the Wachovia Center, as it appeared that more than 90 percent of the the stadium was occupied by men cheering for women to remove their tops at any chance possible.
And there was no way these 20,000 males wanted to see a woman spoil their event.
Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas, the pint-sized and quite unpopular 2004 winner, walked onto the floor accompanied by a chorus of boos and a bombardment of beer cups.
The crowd made it quite clear: this one belonged to the fat guys.
The list of big men included Bill "El Wingador" Simmons, who beat Thomas by one little wing -- a round one because he said the flat ones take too long. The 312-pound New Jersey truck driver took home his fifth title to the delight of the fans who in some odd way deserved to be delighted.
The crowd started to assemble hours before the event, some already liquored up, some just getting started. The doors of the Wachovia Center actually had to be opened well before the scheduled 5 a.m. time to clear the parking lots, and by 5 a.m., anyone arriving was out of luck.
Going in, I thought the festivities of the eating competition would be secondary to other things going on in the crowd. Boy was I wrong. They weren't secondary. They weren't even tertiary. I don't even know the word.
Right before the eating commenced, while precious few people were facing the flag for the national anthem, most in the crowd were watching the fight in the stands on the other side.
And the 28 men and one woman scarfing down chicken wings didn't get nearly as much attention as the 53 men set to don the Eagles' green two days later at the Super Bowl in Jacksonville, Fla.
Rarely did a minute go by when the E-A-G-L-E-S chant wasn't heard somewhere in the stands.
But it wasn't just the Eagles fever and 24 years of pent-up Philadelphia's Super Bowl-less frustration, nor was it just the beer and the blatant disrespect for civility, good taste and a 99-pound Asian-American woman that made the Wing Bowl what it was.
It was the the way that of all these were put together in just the right blend of sexism and general principles on which organized religion would frown that gave the whole morning its character.
All in all, the Wing Bowl combined the most respectable parts of the opera, the ballet and the symphony, rolled them into a neat little ball and threw the whole thing out of a 50-story window.
And all that was found in its place was lots of beer, lots of Eagles jerseys and lots of topless women.
And lots more beer.
Zachary Levine is a sophomore mathematics major from Delmar, N.Y., and is Sports Editor of The Daily Pennsylvanian. His e-mail address is zlevine@sas.upenn.edu.
