Rodin actually funny, say drunk DP eds

As the country watched the inauguration of a new president, The Daily Pennsylvanian held its own inaugural bash -- with fewer politicians but a lot more alcohol. The DP held its annual banquet Saturday at the University of Pennsylvania Museum, marking the official departure of the 116th Board of Editors and Managers and the inauguration of the 117th Board. Keynote speaker Loren Feldman, the executive editor of Philadelphia Magazine, spoke about his experiences in journalism and the many connections that he made during his time at the DP. "It if weren't for the DP, I would still be renting cars," Feldman joked as he recalled his first post-graduation job with Enterprise Rent-a-Car. University President Judith Rodin made a brief speech in which she poked fun at both herself and the DP staff. Rodin joked about the sling that she had been sporting recently, attributing her arm injury to the incessant tugging of Undergraduate Assembly Chair Michael Bassik. "I think she finally showed Bassik for who he is," one DP staff member said. And in annual tradition, the DP sports department walked out of the banquet hall for pizza in the lobby to protest the ongoing speeches and awards -- right in the middle of Rodin's speech. Sports writer Sebastian Stockman claimed he encountered the president on his way back to the party. "Judy Rodin tried to come on to me," said Stockman, who arrived at the festivities promptly at 6:59 p.m. in order to take full advantage of the open bar coctail hour. Newly inaugurated Associate Sports Editor David Zeitlin attempted to justify the traditional protest. "We don't have any culture," Zeitlin said. "All we know is sports and basketball." Upon hearing that his quote might appear in the paper, Zeitlin became violent, resorting to stealing another reporter's dessert. The sports department was vindicated later in the evening when Brian Hindo won the DP Alumni Association Michael Silver Writing Award. The DP Alumni Association gave its annual photography award to David Graff, a former photo editor. Outgoing Senior Sports Editor Rick Haggerty was named Editor of the Year, while outgoing Production Manager Megan Hall took home Manager of the Year awards. The banquet honored DP General Manager Eric Jacobs for his 25 years of service to the newspaper, presenting him with a framed copy of his first front-page story for the DP. A scholarship fund for work-study students was created in his honor. And in the after-dinner dance for DP staff members at the Penn Tower Hotel, one open bar simply wasn't enough for the festivities -- the DP reserved two. The star of the evening was outgoing Sports Editor and current 34th Street Voice Editor Jesse Spector, who made his presence felt all over the ballroom. Spector sang a rendition of "O Canada," which editorial page editor Jonathan Margulies described as "robust." Spector was the winner of the random hookup award, which he earned through his escapades with a member of the production staff. But Spector's achievements were nearly overshadowed by two female members of the business staff, who, for the second consecutive year, displayed their affection for each other on the dance floor. Other members of the 116th editorial staff displayed their respective states of inebriation. When asked for the time, outgoing Managing Editor Ben Geldon looked at his watch and responded, "Christ, I need to go have many more beers." Sources say Geldon remained stuck on his third beer for quite some time. Not to be outdone by his former boss, outgoing Assignments and Features Editor Eric Tucker spent a portion of the night grinding with other members of the DP staff. "By the end of the night, I will have done or said something inappropriate that I will deny ever having done or said," Tucker said. Although his performance this year paled in comparison to last year's banquet, Tucker did manage to drunkenly kiss the hands of random male DP staff members and speak to them in Italian.