Forum discusses same-sex marriages

The title of last night's Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Center sponsored discussion of same-sex marriages was called "Speak Now? Or Forever Hold Your Peace." Looking to do just that, about 20 students and interested community members turned up last night at Penn's School of Social Work to voice conflicting opinions about whether individuals of the same sex should be legally permitted to marry one another. The LGBT Center and the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Alliance organized an open dialogue about gay marriages in recognition of National Freedom to Marry Day on February 12. The moderator of the event, Kitty Kolbert -- host of radio's Justice Talking -- kicked off the dialogue by providing the audience with some basic background information about the history of same-sex laws in America. One of her key points was that marriage is, and should continue to be, a private affair. The civil rights of all people, she said, must be recognized. Many of the audience members took part in the dialogue as well. Several audience members who said they are currently involved in same-sex relationships said they considered it unfair that they are legally forbidden from marrying their partners. One of those people was College junior Mike Hartwyk, who argued that because homosexuals contribute to society in exactly the same way as heterosexuals do, they should therefore be permitted the exact same rights. "In our society, the term 'marriage' has a symbolic meaning," Hartwyk said. "It implies a lot of emotion and a connection. We celebrate that, and I want to get that same support. Not using the word 'marriage' demeans the meaning of my relationship with my partner." Some students who identified themselves as "straight" spoke out in support of same-sex marriages as well. "I'm starting to learn that all injustices are equal," College sophomore Leily Saadat-Lajevard said. "Though [gay and lesbian marriages] may seem distant to me, they're not. The fact that gays and lesbians can't get married is an injustice, like injustices towards women and colored people," she added. One focus of the dialogue was the overall perception of gay marriages -- and even marriage in general -- in American society. "We're not talking about types of marriage," Tim Schillaci, co-chairman of the Pennsylvania Freedom to Marry Coalition, said. "We're talking about who you choose to marry." Even those who spoke against same-sex marriages agreed that the actual ceremonies of homosexual and heterosexual marriages were not all that different. Their opposition, instead, stems from their belief that homosexuals are not adhering to what they perceive as a correct definition of a marriage -- one between a man and a woman. "I believe that marriage at its essence involves a union between man and woman and God," College senior J.J. Ivaska said. "If God is taken out of this union by a law, then the essence of marriage is lost. It can be called a marriage, but at its core, it is not." Still other people in the audience argued that love and commitment between any two people who want to get married can fulfill the definition of marriage. "The miracle of man is the ability of two incredibly different people to transcend their differences and come together in reconciliation," said David Siff, a rabbinical student at Reconstructionist Rabbinical College, who conducts same-sex marriages.